Yesterday I did a post on what I call the highway of life. This highway is simply the path we follow down during our life times. Sometimes the highway is smooth and or lives carry on smoothly. Sometimes this highway may have a little pot hole and life suddenly isn’t such a smooth ride any more. So what is a pot hole in the highway of life. It could really be anything that we find to be unsettling or upsetting. The pot holes can vary in size, some are small (possibly an argument with a loved one). They can vary in size right up to really big ones. (possibly the death of a loved one or some such)
There are issues in life that we just can’t avoid. Things such as the loss of a loved one are just beyond our control and we must just work our way through this painful time. So in what I am about to say I am not talking about this sort of life issue.
I am talking about more the more mudane issues in life. Those nagging little issues that come along and can be anywhere from annoying to almost driving us “crazy”. There are millions of examples of the sort of thing I am talking about and the list of things can vary from person to person. I am talking about the sort of things that have us saying to ourselves: “WHY did this have to happen, today of all days” or “he/she/they are such idiots, I keep trying to explain to them how it should be and they just aren’t listening”. You know the sort of things I am talking about. Little pot holes in the highway of life.
With time some we see coming and can learn to avoid. Others we often just charge in head first and can turn what could be just a little bump in the road into a huge quagmire. Why do we often charge right in, because we “know” what is the right thing to be done, even if it may be in the lives of others. Our intentions are good, we want to help in many cases and we “know” the best thing to be done. Often we enter gently offering loving “suggestions”. Huh, what is up with this, I told them what to do and they are not listening. The answer to this problem is so obvious, I can see it, why can’t they. Huh, they must not have heard me the first time, so I will tell them again, maybe I will be a little more forcefull this time so they will listen and see what I am saying and realize that obviously I am right. “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THESE IDIOTS, I KEEP TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO AND THEY ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME. Well, FINE if that is their attitude, see if I am going to try and help them again”. Feelings have been hurt likely on both sides and nothing is accomplish.
What have I learned? Often, there is no, one size fits all, right answer. What is right for or to me may very well not be for the next person. I accept that. So, I ask this, is it better to be “right” or to be happy?
Today, if I come across a situation, I am not shy about offering my suggestions usually only once, unless later questioned about it. Even though I may “know” my point or my view is the “right” one, I will not beat it to death. I will not argue or take offence if you do not agree with me and act on my advice. I prefer to be happy. I admit, I may still have a bit of a smug feeling inside, “knowing”, I am right. I am content to know for me I am right but don’t feel the necessity to pound away at it until I force you to agree with me. Take what you like and leave the rest.
This is how hard feelings and grudges are formed. A grudge is the heaviest thing you can ever carry. Why waste your precious time and energy arguing over something likely would have been forgotten about very shortly anyway. Forgotten that is unless we make a mountain out of a mole hill, turn a simple little pot hole into a huge quagmire.