Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mom’s out there. I hope your day is filled with the love, recognition and appreciation you so richly deserve.,

I got this email in and it reminded me of how a child may at times see his/her mother or father. I got a chuckle out of it, it brought back memories. Just thought it is cute and am passing it on.


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
‘If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.  I just finished cleaning.’

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
‘You better pray that will come out of the carpet.’

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
‘If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!’

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
‘ Because I said so, ! that’s why.’

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
‘If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.’

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
‘Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.’

7. My mother taught me IRONY
‘Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.’

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
‘Shut your mouth and eat your supper.’

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
‘Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!’

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
‘You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.’

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
‘This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.’

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
‘If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times.  Don’t exaggerate!’

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
‘I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.’

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
‘Stop acting like your father!’

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
‘There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.’

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
‘Just wait until we get home.’

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
‘You are going to get it when you get home!’

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
‘If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.’

19. My mother taught me ESP.
‘Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?’

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
‘When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.’

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
‘If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.’

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
‘You’re just like your father.’

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
‘Shut that door behind you.  Do you think you were born in a barn?’

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
‘When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.’

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
‘One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!’

4 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Happy Mother’s Day

  1. Jo Hart says:

    Thanks Bill, I love this email, I’ve had it before. It’s actually not funny until your a parent yourself and you can see the funny side of it. I often say things and think “Oh my, I sound like my mother”. Had a wonderful mothers day yesterday, got woken up with a milky cuppa & cold toast, new PJ’s and slippers, beautiful home made cards, and lots of hugs and kisses. It was the best morning ever. Had a lovely picnic with both parents, but ended up in hospital with my mum. Gall bladder is going to be removed, she has severe gall stones, so she is being operated on tomorrow. So all in all, started off great, but ended up sitting in a hospital. At least it is nothing serious, so that is the main thing.

    Hi Jo, I am so glad you had a good day. That is a good day right up to the hospital trip. My prayers are out for a rapid recovery. My brother had his gall bladder removed a couple of weeks ago and is doing fine. I wish your grandmother the same.

  2. Mel says:

    Oh geeze, Jo……darn good thing that picnic happened so you were there! *sending prayers* I hope surgery goes well–I know those things are absolutely no fun.

    And Bill–this one I think I’ll send on to the girl. LOL Parenting tips, dontchaknow!

    *hugs* Rest when tired, ‘member? k!

    Hi Mel, real parenting tips for sure. lol

  3. shadywilbury says:

    Brilliant. Very entertaining. 🙂


  4. MarcyWebb says:

    I realize Mother’s Day has passed, but, this post is wonderful. It speaks the truth. Thank you, Bill. 🙂

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