Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Blog dies with me??


Had a few “off” days, ones where I just wasn’t feeling so spry but am now bouncing back to my normal. It is a good thing. Today I go for a Cat Scan of the old brain. The nuero surgon does an annual check to see how much the tumor has grown. I am not really concerned, have been doing this for several years and while, yes, it is growing, it is at a very slow rate. Last time I was told it is about the size of a large walnut, be interesing to see how large it is now.

I have been doing a lot of thinking of late about the blog. It has been interesting to see how in some ways it has almost taken on a life of its own. I see people corresponding with each other through their comments here and I think that is wonderful. People sharing their thoughts to help and support each other again I say, WONDERFUL. I feel truly blessed to have been able to develop an internet relationship with some, for this I am so grateful, I am a lucky man.

Many others have sort of stopped by for a brief period and then quietly moved on with their lives. I hope in that time they felt safe and welcome as many were or are suffering a pending loss or past loss. I pray that all that have moved on, to wonderful happy love filled lives. Well, in fact, I have received many comments from people stating how they have gained or benefited from what has been written here. This blog has been credited with both changing and even saving lives. For me that is so very gratifying. But, I am humble enough to realize that my writings only make up one part of the blog. So much wisdom, insight, love and support is through the wonderfully supportive comments left by YOU.

I am having trouble remembering the saying but it is something like: “Any group is stronger than the sum of its individual members.” I think that perfectly describes what we have here and I am but one individual member of a loving supportive group, here to help all. It is so good to see that at times when I may be absent for a few days, others will take the initiative and jump right in and reply directly to some of the pain filled messages that are some times left. I thank and applaud you for doing that. We have evolved into a loving supportive on line community, a safe haven for any and all. All so wonderful, far beyond my wildest dreams. I am such a lucky man.

It is also wonderful and gratifying to see that even if I am absent for a period, the blog carries on with loving support being available to all. It is so good to see that the blog can continue without me. I am in fact but one part of this wonderful community.

I have thought of changing the name of the blog but have decided not to. I have read comments left by dear blogging friends that say that title is what brought them to the blog and into my life. I wouldn’t want to change that for anything. I am a lucky man.

Here is what I am wondering. As I am but one part of this internet community would the blog have to die with me? I really don’t think so. So much good has  been accomplished, why should it have to end? I really hope that doesn’t have to happen. Now understand I am not looking for any sort of on going memorial to “Bill” or anything like that. In fact any reference to Bill could be deleted and I would be OK with that. It is more the loving supportive helping community that I would like to see continue. I ask for your thoughts, ideas or suggestions.

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8 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Blog dies with me??

  1. Jo Hart says:

    Hey Bill, have just read your post, but can’t leave a message as I am flat chat. As usual I have my 2 cents worth to add, so I will be back hopefully later in the day, if not on the weekend. – Good Post…

  2. planetcity1 says:

    Bill:
    My thought here is that the matter of whether or not the blog continues should be a family decision. Some family members may want it to continue, and some may not for any variety of reasons; either way it is your immediate family whose wishes and concerns should be considered.

    What I found when my husband died is that that post-death period is filled with a HUGE amount of things that must be done; and this at a time when you are totally numb… [Yes, that overwhelming numbness and the urge to cry comes over you like a tsunami even if a loved one’s death is expected.]

    May I take a minute to list some?

    Call 911 if death occurs at home. Notify immediate family. Arrange for body to be removed after police have finished their reports; again, this is if death occurs at home.

    Follow-up visit to crematory or funeral home. Write obit, find obit picture.[Obits are priced according to length.] Arrange funeral or memorial. Sign paperwork for tons of things, including death certificates. [You have to get multiple copies of everything, for banks, insurance companies, stock providers, etc. etc.]

    [Your wife will also need certified copies of your marriage certificate and birth certificates for both you and her for various financial paperwork. Check the area where you live for what is required.]

    The surviving spouse also has to contact any and all creditors and make sure
    the immediate household bills have all been met. [A wife will open new accounts to establish a credit rating if she has never had one singly before.]

    Apply for pension (and Social Security death benefits if in the U.S.) The death benefit is a pittance, but every penny counts in this period of transition.

    Notify friend and co-workers of the deceased, also notify any alumni or membership groups.[Please notify friends; I can’t tell you how many times my Mom has learned about a friend’s passing because a card or letter had been returned.]

    Take care of the will and all estate matters. Sort through and deal with the decedent’s belongings. Take on all chores and tasks that the decedent used to do.

    Allow time for yourself to cry at will, and lean on friends’ support as needed.

    [I’ve probably missed some stuff, but you get the gist…after-death matters
    are heartbreaking and busy, and what to do with the blog might not be at the top of the immediate list, no matter how many people it has helped.

    Well, that’s more than enough from me…time to let someone chime in with their thoughts.]

  3. planetcity1 says:

    In case anyone has been missing Mel, her new grandbaby is here; go to her blog for the latest updates: http://melsdream.blogspot.com/

  4. Thanks Bill. As always well said.
    M

  5. planetcity1 says:

    One thing I would like to add, Bill, is that this blog is what it is BECAUSE of you–
    your voice, your posts, your character and patience made it a place that is safe and supportive — not everyone in the universe has those gifts.

    Thanks ever so much for the work it took to get this blog and your readership to this place 🙂

  6. Cat says:

    “Notify friend and co-workers of the deceased, also notify any alumni or membership groups.[Please notify friends; I can’t tell you how many times my Mom has learned about a friend’s passing because a card or letter had been returned.]”

    This is good advice. When my brother died, I spent a day calling everyone I could think of who had been friends with him from high school on. Fortunately, as we’d been very close and had been roommates in college, most of these were mutual friends so I knew how to contact them. We also worked for the same company at the time, so I simply had to call one co-worker and ask her to get the word around.

    I had an online friend who passed away a couple of years ago. He was in his 70s and was in wonderful health and very active until he caught the flu and died from complications. In any event, he’d had the foresight to leave a list for his sister of his online friends and their email addresses. She emailed me shortly after he died to let me know, and I appreciated it so much. I hadn’t heard from him in over a week and had been wondering if something was wrong, but he was a lifelong bachelor with no children and I had no idea how to contact his family.

    As to the question of whether this blog should continue after your death, Bill, I agree that your family should have some say in that. I suspect they would be happy to see this place continue on as a supportive online community — what a wonderful legacy that would be! If they agree, you may want to give one of them or one of your close friends your password and login information so that they can continue the blog in your absence.

  7. Mel says:

    <– is a Nanna! 🙂 (finally!! LOL)

    (and thank you PC1….muchly!)

    Bill, ya know in part it’s the sense of ‘community’ we have here, you’re right. Great folks hang around here–kindred spirits, people who are in all sorts of places in their own journey, doing the best they can and sincerely wanting to do more, do different, connect with living and loving….

    But every wheel has a hub, yaknow? And that’s been you. A group is only as good as the people who’re in it–this is true. Leastwise that’s been my experience to date. But the other part of that experience tells me that there’s always someone whom I’ve looked to who’s led me in some fashion. Here–that’s been you (go figure…).
    So don’t discount what’s brought all of us here, what brings us back. Yes–in part that’s the community, the fellowship of those who frequent here. But it’s been you whose been the center of that–leastwise for me.

    What do you want to happen for this little (HUGE) piece when this journey ends and another begins for you? I know Vi has her marching orders–but truly…what is your hope, your desire, your wish? And has there been conversation with others about this?

    I’m a visitor here at Bill’s place. And I’ve always been welcomed with opened arms (wordy as I may get sometimes….LOL)….not just welcomed–embraced. But really–this is Bill’s place. And it’s always, always been a lovely place to come to, to just BE, yaknow?

    ((((((((((((( Bill ))))))))))))))

    It matters to me, to us, what YOU wish and hope and desire.
    But each of us bring things and add to what’s HERE.
    And that’s YOU, yaknow?

  8. Mel says:

    *laughing*

    Yup, I AM a wordy cuss!

    I’m gonna hope that today brings you smiles and joyfilled moments…..and lots of ’em!

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