Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Precious time wasted on negativity


I am feeling a lot better. Anyone that may have read my last post may have realized I was on a rant and not in the best of moods. The vast majority of time, I have reached the point where I just don’t let things bother me. It is just not worth the energy it takes, negative feelings can just suck you dry. Plus, I know a moment gone is gone forever, can never be relived. It is totally up to me as to how I spend those moments. Our moments on this earth are limited and I don’t want to waste any more. So flat out I am not going to. Life is good, look at the big picture and I realize what a lucky man I am.

The vast majority of time, I am not sure but it must be 97-98% of the time I just don’t let things get to me. My thoughts are just thoughts. But they can control my mood, they can control my very life. I am the master of my own mind and I can control my thoughts. Or at least that is the goal I have set for myself as I do know it can be done. I am making progress in getting there.

Now that doesn’t mean that if I come across something in life that I just flat out consider to be wrong, that I am not going to try and do something about it. I just don’t have to let it get me upset while doing it.

I let something as silly as a parking ticket get me in a flap. OK, first off when I say get me in a flap what do I mean? Am I jumping up and down, cursing and yelling, not even close. Outwardly I don’t change at all, no one can see a difference in me. I voice my displeasure in a calm and cool way, which isn’t always good either. Others based on my reactions or actions may not even realize I am upset. Now remember I am talking the very very rare occasions here. Really most things just don’t faze me one way or the other and just pass me by leaving no marks or scars.

BU, there are times when something happens that I see as just being wrong. I see that and I am going to speak up but usually only after I have given myself a little thinking time. There is the saying ” have a quick mind and a slow mouth”. That is a very good thought, how often do we shoot off our mouths in the heat of the moment only to regret much of what is said, a very short time later.

I like to ponder issues, think about them, try to see both sides before I react of speak. Yesterday, I had just got home from the clinic and all was hot in my mind when I made my post. I hadn’t given myself the thinking time. My post reflected the fact I was upset and at the time I was. Give just a short time in my meditation chair, where I so try to understand both sides equally and I am fine. I am not going to let silly little insignificant things spoil the rest of my day.

I thought about it, was no longer upset but still considered it to be wrong. I phoned the hospital to express my concerns about handicap parking and talked to a very nice Lady named Linda. The ticket is being canceled and a review of the location of the handicap parking spots and usage is being done. Thank you Linda.

Huh, I wasted an hour or two feeling negativity. What a waste of precious time.

I am keeping up the work on this sort of thing and while know I am getting better, realize I still have a ways to go

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13 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Precious time wasted on negativity

  1. Irene says:

    Dear Bill,
    You know Bill, I was just thinking that that is one of the most positive side effective of any negative thoughts or complaints–doing something about it. You didn’t just rant or complain. You decided to DO something about it. Wow–there’s love in action. Ranting to the wrong people is a real waste of good breath. Now, hopefully, if Linda follows through, changes will be made that will help everyone. So I think complaining to the right people, people that can make a difference, is important and even useful. Thanks in advance because I might need that parking change in the near future too.
    Hope your day has been a good one, Wiseman.
    Irene

    Hi, Irene I thank you for your kind words. The way I look at is, if you see something you feel is just wrong, you should at least speak up. Possibly the “powers that be” are just honestly not aware there is an issue. If no one speaks up, how are they to know. You can’t fix a problem is you don’t know it exists to begin with.
    Bill

  2. ThomasLB says:

    Usually when something throws me off my stride it’s because of one of two things: It’s either because I have an idyllic version of reality in my head that the Real World can’t begin to live up to, or because I insisted on responding to something I would have been better off to just let ride.

    This is a very powerful message and I so thank you for sharing it. Two very excellent ways to look at life and the issues it throws at us.
    Thanks again
    Bill

  3. Mel says:

    Yup–what Thomas said!

    And please note I wasn’t grumbling about the ticket–it’s just a ticket and you did right with it–and Linda’s going to do her job, which is a good thing.

    I wasn’t pleased about the downgrade.
    And I don’t have to be.
    I do get to practice acceptance and gratitude.
    And I am.

    Still…..
    Nowhere does it say I have to LIKE what I get to accept. But I can get to a place of ‘peace’, regardless.

    *HUGE hugs*

    Love ya………bunches!
    Mel, you are so right there are some things in life we just must accept because they are out of our control, but you are right in that we don’t have to like them. If it is truly beyond our control, acceptance just makes life easier to deal with.

  4. Irene says:

    Dear Bill,
    Just thought I’d drop by and say Howdy on this snowy Saturday morning. I totally agree with Mel–I don’t have to like what I accept. It’s not easy to do though. Well, I guess I’ll use that advice and go clean the toilets. I don’t like it, but I accept I have to do it and be happy that we have the facility in the first place. (Is that love in action or what????)
    Have a super good day. Thinking of you often, Wiseman.
    Irene

    Hi Irene, you just hit on a perfect example of accepting life. We certainly don’t have to like cleaning the toilet. We have to accept it as a task or a part of what comes with the convenience. Good point

  5. Kim says:

    it is a great gift to see our incomplete humanity and know that we can seek to ascend from it toward more.

    peace to you, today

    Hi Kim, you are so right on this. It is good to be able to see the areas within ourselves that we can see need “work”. If we don’t see it, we aren’t going to be working on it.

  6. Lorri says:

    It’s easier said than done, but during moments like that, we should try (notice I said try) to breathe…inhale…exhale…

    Take care, Bill.

    good idea, focus on the breathing, inhale, exhale refocus the mind.

  7. Penny says:

    It takes a lot of work, but you seem to be doing really well with thinking positively already 🙂

    Hi Penny, I thank you. I am working on it but know I have a ways to go yet.
    Nice to hear from you
    Bill

  8. You’re hard on yourself, my man! Don’t forget you’re human – you have emotions & feelings & reactions! We all do. It’s normal. And in your situation – really, give yourself a break & move on to the next moment. The past is past. Time for NOW.

    Hi artic dreamer, nice to hear from you. You are so right, always just move on to the next moment or it becomes to easy to become bogged down stuck in one of life’s “little” potholes.

  9. Jo Hart says:

    Bill, sometimes letting it out is better than internalising it. Vent all you like, goodness gracious, I’m the queen at venting…….

    Hi Jo, I know I have always had the tendancy to internalize to much. I am getting better at just venting sometimes just to get it off my chest.

  10. garry howdle says:

    Hi Bill!
    It your cousin Garry Roy Howdle. Since I haven’t see you for ages, I refresh for you… I’m your Aunt Isabel’s boy, child #9 of 11. I’m living in Edmonton with my wife and the four children.
    A couple of quick thoughts.. it can be very really hard to see the positive some days, especially every day. You need a real pissy day, an hour or even a few minutes to make you appreciate the great moments that come along to cushion the rough spots.
    I live in the city with the worst drivers in canada. I used to fume about being cut off, tailgated etc. Now I slowly count to ten. It works like a damn. By the time I hit ten, that other jackass is out of my life and I can carry on with MY day.
    I have sales reps calling me daily, many of which think they know my business better than I do. That’s why they feel i should spend tons of money with them. Say no, count to ten and they are gone. (I realize that you actually may have to count to ten a few times before they are out of your day but be patient. By the third count, if they are still there, it can be considered “stalking” and you have the right to bear arms against them!!!!)
    My favorite trick to get out of a funk is this: click on YOUTUBE, type in your favorite comedian..Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby, Jeff Dunham.. and take a five minute sanity break. Trust me the world will wait. Time well spent.
    My profession allows mye the greatest reality check EVER, EVERY DAY!!! I am a funeral director. I see people everyday who didn’t remember to smile and to laugh and count their blessings. I see people who died racing to somewhere that they could have safely got to a little bit later, I have seen the suicides of those who felt they had no options, I see the families burying babies and children. And every single day, instead of wallowing in the misery around me, I choose to smell the roses, give a smile and see the positive. I read on a t-shirt a long time ago “Its not that life is short, Its that death is so damn long”.
    I applaud your efforts to make the lemonade out of life’s lemons. Your a very positive influence, even on MUCH YOUNGER cousins who live far away.
    A couple of final thoughts…..

    #1
    The Global Facts …

    At Any Given Moment:

    79,000,000 people are engaged in intercourse right now.

    58,000,000 are kissing.

    37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.

    1 lonely bugger is reading e-mails.

    You hang in there sunshine!

    #2)
    Last Friday evening, I left my SUV parked out on my driveway. I have to accept responsibility for the event as left two Edmonton Oiler tickets lying on the dash.
    At some point while I was sleeping, some low-down, miserable son of a bitch punched in my driver’s window and………left me two more Oiler tickets!

    Hope I made you smile.
    take care.

    Roy

    Hi Roy, it is so very nice to hear from you and yes you did make me smile and I do thank you for that. Well I did smile until I realized I am that one guy sitting at his computer reading.lol.
    In your profession you continually deal with people in their darkest hour burying a loved one. I know you do it with great compassion and caring. What you see and deal with on a daily basis is such a reminder to us all, to live life to the fullest as it is meant to be lived. Instead of getting swallowed up in the grief of others you are able to take the time to smell the roses and enjoy life. Good for you, you are an example many could follow. I hope you will take the time when you have it, to share more here on the blog, I am sure many could benefit from what you have to say.
    How is the rest of the family, I haven’t heard from them hear in a while.
    It really was nice hearing from you, I do appreciate the comment.
    Huh, I am still the one guy sitting at his computer while millions of others are…….

  11. Jo Hart says:

    Bill, I have to say that wisdom must run in the family. Very wise words there from your cousin Roy…..

    Hi Jo, yes Roy is a very good man but let’s keep it our secret we don’t want it to go to his head. lol

  12. Jo Hart says:

    I have a quote I’d like to share with you that I recieved today

    “Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they’re really not.
    They’re companions – the hero and the sidekick.”
    Laurence Shames

    Thought you may like it. It’s funny how you can look at things in anohter perspective.

    Hi Jo, I thank you for sharing that. It is something I hadn’t thought of. I have to really think on it.

  13. Mel says:

    *laughing laughing laughing!!*

    I think I LIKE Roy!!!

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