Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Helping a dying friend


I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas Day and will continue to enjoy the rest of this festive season. I hope for many it is a time filled with family and friends an occasion to celebrate and remember. I do hope everyone took time yesterday to reconize and appreciate the true meaning of Christmas. It is a time for a very special birthday to be celebrated.

It is a time of year that I hope all take a moment to celebrate all in life they have to be grateful for, to truly count and appreciate their blessings. We all take so very much for granted, not appreciating what we really do have to be grateful for.

I know here in Canada anyway, mother nature stepped in with some severe storms that has undoubtedly prevented many family gatherings and I feel bad you those individuals. I know others may be feeling just a twinge of disappointment over not having received the “right”  gift. I want to share a story with you that I hope will make everyone suddenly appreciate what ever it is they have today.

A few days ago I received this comment, it was posted on my “about” page:

“Bill,

I find this inspirational! I came to the web looking for comfort, and your story has really made me understand so much. There were so many things that had me up every night. But your journal entries have really made me come to peace.

I am left with little time to live. A couple of months if I’m lucky. However, my fear is not dying. My fear is the process. Will it be painful? Will I be alone? It’s hard to think of this, considering I am 23 years old. My whole life I have planned for a future that no longer exists. I have done my best to be an excelent daughter, student, friend, and employee, and I believe I have been successful. Yet, I know I will never get married or have children or complete my degrees. That is what I am having difficulty dealing with. Trying to figure out what I have done for myself? Currently studying my master’s degree in Harvard while working at an excelent system’s company. But I wonder, I’ve worked so hard to achieve all this, with no reason. What was the point in missing so many important/fun/exciting things in my life, in order to dedicate time to my profession, my future? How many birthdays, gradutations, celebrations I have missed. How many difficult times of family have I not been available for support?

It is still a bit difficult to come at peace with the thought of never having a family, never giving birth and/or see my child say mama for the first time. Never being able to say ‘I do’ to the man of my dreams. But I do understand that God knows what he is doing. And if it is my time to join him, then I don’t need to understand anything, I just need to trust. We are put in this world for a purpose, and maybe, without knowing it, I have fulfilled my purpose.

Thank you Bill for this site. By the way…my birthday is December 13th as well..I will continue to be a fan of your entries!!”

I posted a response to that comment on the about page, you can read it if you choose.

This is the follow up response that I got.

“Hey Bill! Thank you for the reply! I know I seem curageous…but deep down inside…not that curageous at all…just living one day at a time…

Hope you have a wonderful Holiday season!!!

Looking forward to your email.

R”

I hope everyone will stop just for a moment. Think of the struggle this wonderfully courageous young woman is going through right now. Once you have done that, take a real look at your own situation. I imagine that this suddenly makes you situation look so much different. You see it in a different light and can see blessings every where around you. Appreciate them.

Now after I received the first comment from this young lady, I only know as Eu. I did in fact send her an email. Based on the second comment it would appear that email may not have gotten through. I have today again sent an email to Eu, as it was sent to the same email address as was the first, I am not sure if it will get through.

I am happy to see Eu has returned to the blog several times. Eu, I want to make sure you get my message so I am posting a copy of my email here. I do hope to hear back from you.

Hello Eu
I just read your new comment on the blog. It sounds like possibly you didn’t get my first email so I am attaching a copy of it. I am very computer illiterate and quite likely I did something wrong in sending it the first time, sorry.

You say you are not brave instead taking it one day at a time. You say you are not brave, well I have to disagree with you on that one, my friend. When dealing with a situation such as yours it takes a great deal of courage. It takes courage to even get out of bed every morning to face your day. I am sure there are many days when the urge is to just stay in bed, curl up in a ball and wallow in self pity. I know because I have had those days.

Taking things one day at a time, is the best thing we can do and really all we can do. For me, it is all in what I do with those days and how I spend them. So often it seems it takes a situation like this before we really appreciate life and realize how precious is our time. Every single moment wasted is gone forever. No one can say with any certainty how many of those precious moments you do have left, that same thing applies to every one. I urge you to make the most of everyone of them. I know that all sounds good and is easy to say and much harder to put into practice in your life. It is so easy to fall into the: “how can I be happy when I know that……”?

Well my friend, I am not going to lie to you and tell you it is easy. But, I can speak to you from personal experience and tell you it can be done. Am I trying to imply you can become blissfully happy? No, what I am trying to say is you can get your mind set to a place where you can really enjoy the precious moments you have left. You can see the wonders in in every little things, come to appreciate, see beauty and enjoy it even more. Life is precious, life is beautiful, grab as much enjoyment, love and happiness as you can, while you can.

With all of this, it doesn’t take way the fact you are facing a very very difficult time. Please don’t try to face it alone. I know nothing of your circumstances beyond the 2 short messages you have left me.

Turn to your faith in God, there you can find tremendous love and support. But, let’s face it, we are physical beings with our physical limitations and understandings. While on this earth, we can pray for God’s will to be done in our lives. We want His will to be done. I know when His will seems to so directly contradict our own, it sucks, or can seem to while we are on the physical level of being. Much will only be understood once we have reached the Spiritual Level.

Turn to your loved ones family, friends or even me. Loving support is here for you. Don’t be afraid to lean on that support.

I would like to learn much more about you, maybe we can be internet friends and even help and support each other through what lies ahead. There is a saying “knowledge without experience is merely information”. We do have something in common, the knowledge and are sharing the experience.

I do hope to hear back from you. I would like to know more about you, your life and your medical situation.

EU, it sounds like my first email didn’t get through to you. Now as I am sending this message to the same address, I am concerned it may not get through. I would like to ensure you get my message. You have already returned to the blog for a second visit so I am taking the liberty of posting a copy of this message on the blog. I am hoping this way you will see it for sure. I feel this is some what of a unique situation and for that reason only, am sharing the contents of a private email. You can be assured going forward anything exchanged via email will be kept private.
I do hope to hear back from you
Know you are in my thoughts, heart and prayers.
Bill

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4 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Helping a dying friend

  1. Mel says:

    I’ve decided it’s horribly human of us to ‘want’ some things in this lifetime–whatever time we’re given in this life.

    Today I tucked in my coworker who’s in the final stages of her cancer–barely a recognizable friend, she’s a shadown of herself.
    She just wants to see her granddaughter born.
    I just wanted to see the kiddos graduate.

    I won’t fool any of those who find themselves in the journey–we ‘want’ cuz there’s some piece of us that’s holding on to earthly stuff. But no piece of that is a measure of our life’s value.
    I’m coming to understand that as much as my value simply IS to G-d, so is my ‘life’. (not that ‘life’ was mine to begin with yaknow?) That life’s ‘worth’ is not measured by what I’ve accomplished, what grand things I’ve done, seen or experienced. I don’t ‘earn’ my way into or out of anything.

    Now, granted, that’s just my own awakening and not anyone else’s. Keep in mind that I don’t have any difficulty with understanding that Hitler’s in G-d’s company today. All G-d’s children get to go home–

    It’s harder than hard to leave this little piece of all that we know and sign up for the crossing over. I know this in my heart–I know what I experienced multiple times.
    I also know that you’re right Bill. What matters to ME is what I do today. I can’t undo stuff–and all I really have is the day that’s in front of me.

    Dunno what I’m trying to say here–
    I was horribly touched by Eu’s posting to you and yours to her.
    It’s hard. I know this.
    We want so much to leave here with some sort of ‘belief’ of having accomplished/made a mark somewhere…..
    I do, too.
    I think we all do in some way, shape or form.

    Dance today.
    Love today.
    LIVE today.
    For me, those are true and good and desired things.
    But they’re not about my worth and value or my life’s value.
    They’re but my desires to be okay with me and my life….

    *kicking away the silly soapbox*

    Gosh I wish I knew what I was trying to say. *sigh*

  2. Mel says:

    *sending prayers and warmth and peace*

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  4. babychaos says:

    That’s a great e Bill and I’m sure it will help. EU if you read this, it might help to know that somebody miles away on the other side of the world is thinking of you and saying a prayer or two for you as well.

    Take care and god bless.

    BC

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