Well I am back up and running, well more like a leisurely stroll than running but you get my point. Haven’t been feeling so spry the past few days. It is not even like I have been sick, well as always there is this pesky chest cold thing. But, I have been feeling more like just really sucked out, no energy. It is like it takes a real effort and I almost have to force myself to just walk across the room. I didn’t even shower yesterday, just the thought seemed to tire me out. Did my regular telephone interview with the research department of the heart failure clinic, yesterday. Listening to my raspy, wheesy breathing caused her to suggest I see my doctor asap. Will make the appointment today.
I haven’t written in the past few days, but I have still been checking in to read comments here and emails. Thank you to all. I will be responding soon I hope. Computer is in the basement. Getting down here is no problem, it is the facing the stairs going back up that is exhausting.
Had an interesting thought provoking question posed to me via email.
“What do you think is the respectful amount of time a widow/widower should wait before beginning to see someone else?”
I remind you I am not a doctor or a therapyst, I am just me. You asked for my opinion so here is how things are “According to Bill”. Also remember free advice is usually worth about as much as you paid for it.
I take this to sort of mean, how long is an appropriate time to spend in mourning the passing of a spouse? What is a respectable amount of mouning time to spend before moving on with your life?
I will give that a very definite, that depends. Grieve is a very personal and individual thing, everyone deals with it in their own way and in their own time. I think the question should be, when is the surviving spouse ready to move on in a healthy way? At this point it should be all about the surviving spouse. If you are asking, say should a widow spend a year dressed in black locked in her house to show proper respect for her deceaced husband my answer would be no, UNLESS that is something he/she must do for their own healing.
Not sure how to word this to get what I mean across. Do I expect my family to mourn my loss? Fact of the matter is I know they will. But, I hope and pray the “true mourning” phase will be brief. I hope I will be missed and always remembered but not in a mourning way. Does that make sense?
I don’t think moving on with your life should have anything to do with respect or disrespect for the passed loved ones. It has everything to do with the survivors living healthy happy lives.
Will I feel in anyway disrespected if All of my loved ones don’t spend an “appropriate” time in mouning? Not at all, if anything the exact opposite would apply. The greatest respect that could be shown to me, is by everyone moving on with healthy happy lives, I can then rest at ease knowing I have somehow contributed.