Tried laying down for a nap but not working so good. My “pee” pills seem to be working in over drive. When I had to get up for a nature call the 3rd. time in 20 minutes, I gave up on the idea of napping for now, anyway.
I do appreciate the many comments that have been left sharing experiences witnessing the passing of loved ones. I have been touched by all. I guess my own beliefs that the actual act of passing from this world to the next will be a wonderful experience. Any pain or discomfort will be caused by the physical illness that has brought us to that point.
I suppose I am lucky again in that my ailment relates to this gimpy heart of mine. Any related pain is easily taken away with medications. I see it and realize in that way I am so very lucky as I do not have to endure what so many others do.
There is something though that I think would be worse than the physical pain. Mind you I am saying this as someone not actually enduring that pain. I think the mental anguish of laying there knowing you are in your last minutes, hours, days or what ever. The mental anguish of a mind full of regrets. Regretting things both done and things left undone, things said and things left unsaid. I can only imagine how awful it must be to suddenly have reality hit you. The reality that it is too late, you have run out of time.
We have always taken it for granted that we will always have tomorrow or next week or sometime in the future. We take for granted tomorrow will give us time to speak words or love not often spoken enough or maybe even never spoken. We take it for granted we have tomorrow to patch up a broken relationship with a friend or relative. We take it for granted we have tomorrow to sit back, relax and enjoy a beautiful sunset. The regrets that fill you when suddenly you realize the so oft taken for granted tomorrow may not be there. The precious time of often taken for granted and wasted has run out. Everyone has a mental list of things that “I should get done” and I will get around to it one of these days. You realize the full extent of all of the things you had intended to get to, had intended to deal with, “one of these days”. Your focus changes, your priorities change when you realize “one of these days” will never come. You are left with your regrets, so sad and just to bad.
The saddest thing of all is that it really doesn’t ever have to be that way for anyone. I don’t think there is ever a “good time to die” but we don’t have any say in that matter. It is just not with medical conditions that we can be put in that position, there are numerous ways, accidents being the big one I imagine. Suddenly, unexpectedly we run out of tomorrows. Things we know we should do, that we need to do but have been put off until tomorrow or sometime, will suddenly never happen and we face that regret.
One of the big things I had hoped to do with this blog was to get everyone, irregardless of health to just stop for a moment and take stock of their lives as it sits today. Stop and really think about your “tomorrow” or “someday” list of things to do.