Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Tomorrow list

Tried laying down for a nap but not working so good. My “pee” pills seem to be working in over drive. When I had to get up for a nature call the 3rd. time in 20 minutes, I gave up on the idea of napping for now, anyway.

I do appreciate the many comments that have been left sharing experiences witnessing the passing of loved ones. I have been touched by all. I guess my own beliefs that the actual act of passing from this world to the next will be a wonderful experience. Any pain or discomfort will be caused by the physical illness that has brought us to that point.

I suppose I am lucky again in that my ailment relates to this gimpy heart of mine. Any related pain is easily taken away with medications. I see it and realize in that way I am so very lucky as I do not have to endure what so many others do.

There is something though that I think would be worse than the physical pain. Mind you I am saying this as someone not actually enduring that pain. I think the mental anguish of laying there knowing you are in your last minutes, hours, days or what ever. The mental anguish of a mind full of regrets. Regretting things both done and things left undone, things said and things left unsaid. I can only imagine how awful it must be to suddenly have reality hit you. The reality that it is too late, you have run out of time.

We have always taken it for granted that we will always have tomorrow or next week or sometime in the future. We take for granted tomorrow will give us time to speak words or love not often spoken enough or maybe even never spoken. We take it for granted we have tomorrow to patch up a broken relationship with a friend or relative. We take it for granted we have tomorrow to sit back, relax and enjoy a beautiful sunset. The regrets that fill you when suddenly you realize the so oft taken for granted tomorrow may not be there. The precious time of often taken for granted and wasted has run out. Everyone has a mental list of things that “I should get done” and I will get around to it one of these days. You realize the full extent of all of the things you had intended to get to, had intended to deal with, “one of these days”. Your focus changes, your priorities change when you realize “one of these days” will never come. You are left with your regrets, so sad and just to bad.

The saddest thing of all is that it really doesn’t ever have to be that way for anyone. I don’t think there is ever a “good time to die” but we don’t have any say in that matter. It is just not with medical conditions that we can be put in that position, there are numerous ways, accidents being the big one I imagine. Suddenly, unexpectedly we run out of tomorrows. Things we know we should do, that we need to do but have been put off until tomorrow or sometime, will suddenly never happen and we face that regret.

One of the big things I had hoped to do with this blog was to get everyone, irregardless of health to just stop for a moment and take stock of their lives as it sits today. Stop and really think about your “tomorrow” or “someday” list of things to do.

6 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Tomorrow list

  1. Mel says:

    52 years old–she went to sleep after driving around in a decorated golf course, just like any other Friday. She showered, climbed into bed and mumbled her good-nights…..and never woke up the next morning.

    This was the ending of a coworker’s life on this planet.

    Say what you wanna say, today.
    Love how you want to love, today.
    Be all you want to be, today.

    I hear ya, Bill.

    Mel, you got it.

    “Say what you wanna say, today.
    Love how you want to love, today.
    Be all you want to be, today.”

    With your wonderful way with words you have stated so clearly what I rambled on about. thank you for sharing my friend

  2. venus00 says:

    Your goal has definitely been accomplished in blogging as far as I’m concerned. Every time I read your blog, I stop and take stock of my life. You also serve as a role model of the type of person I want to be. I’m always encouraged by your examples of love and kindness and being able to grasp the things at really matter in this life.

    Venus, my dear friend I thank you so very much for these kind and encouraging words. I think you have me blushing. Hearing such form you is very toughing and I do thank you so very very much.

  3. Jo Hart says:

    I agree with Venus Bill, you have made me look at my life in a completely different context to what I did before we met. For example today is my Birthday, normally it’s all about the husband taking the kids to get presents etc. This year I told them all I want from them is something that they think shows what they love and think about me, and as my present to do 3 nice things on the day of my birthday. Tonight at dinner, they are to tell me what there 3 nice things for other people they have done. This morning I was woken with a beautiful poem written from my 6 year old, about all the things she loves about me. I received a beautiful coffee cup from my 9 year old stating “My Mum is the Best”….. (Big Head) and they are really excited to go off to school and complete the other part of the present. You’ve totally changed my perspective of gifts. I’m really excited to hear about what they have done.
    Thank you Bill for making me a better person, my family better people, and for making me not have the regrets if there is no more tomorrows….. I thank you deeply for that.

    Jo, my dear friend. Happy belated birthday, I hope you had a wonderful day. It is obvious you have a wonderful family that loves you very much, so I am sure they made the day special for you.
    I think the birthday presents you asked for were wonderful and really do show the love and kindness contained within your heart.
    I would be very interested in hearing what the kids came up with for the second part of your present.
    Happy birthday my friend, I just wish I could be there to give you a birthday hug.

  4. Juanita says:

    Remember me, YOU SAVED MY LIFE, and you did it with words. That alone makes you a wonderful, wise, and caring human being. Bill, you would be surprised at the impact you have had, in so many lives. You are loved by so many. Not all people have your wisdom or compassion. Love Always My Friend

    Juanita, my dear friend. I thank you so very much for your kind words, they are both gratifying and heart warming at the same time. I am not sure what it was I said that helped you but I am very very glad I said it. I am equally glad you got in touch with me as I do value the on line friendship we now have, exchanging emails etc.. It is as I said in the email I just sent you, you are one of the people that make my world a little brighter, a little better and I thank you for that.
    Have a great day

  5. novice101 says:

    Bill, you needn’t be so humble. All those that are said are testimonies of people changed by you. Accept the compliments.

    I feel the very last minute can also allow us to say the things we wish to say but have left unsaid so far. So can it allow us to show the love we have not been able to show before. This is only my opinion. Nothing is too late.

    Hi novice, I appreciate hearing and value your opinion. I fully agree with you that many times things can be said even at the very last moment. It is sometimes we are denied that last moment and pass quickly and unexpectedly. Heart attacks, accidents, different things can deny us that last moment.
    Always remember I do appreciate hearing your opinion and thoughts just as I do from all others. I hope you will continue to share your opinions often.
    I thank you

  6. Mel says:

    (((((((((((( Jo ))))))))))))))

    Happy belated (but just AS heart felt) birthday wishes to YOU!


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