Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Dying the Physical process


The very title of my blog suggests the obvious, that often I will write about death, dying, the afterlife, what I am experiencing, feeling and of my beliefs. In my humble rambling way I am doing my best to describe all of the above as I see it and feel it.

I have written of how I do not fear death because of my beliefs in the afterlife. I have also though shared that I am a little bit, shall we say shaky, nervous or yes even afaid of the process. The transition when I move from this physical world to the next spiritual world. What do you experience, what do you feel as your physical body begins to die around you. I have read wording of the very same nature in many places, “I am not afraid to die, I am afraid though of the dying process. Afraid of what I will go through in this transition stage.”

I have never witnessed the passing of anyone from this world and as such I suppose I have no form of reference or idea of what to expect. I appreciate anyone that was with a loved one at the time of their passing, still only has a very limited “reference” point from what we saw, what we witnessed. But for me anyway that would at least be a starting point.

I have set up a new page, can be seen at the very top of this posting. It is titled “inspirational stories and sharings”. Here I would invite, no I ask please for any and all to share. To share any touching or inspirational stories they may have of the last days leading up to the passing of a loved one and even of the actual time of passing.

I realize, I appreciate how hard this may be for many. It is just I know how much I may benefit as I am sure would so many others by reading such stories. If you are able please share, thank you.

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7 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Dying the Physical process

  1. Mel says:

    I’ll have to give this one some thought, Bill.

    I’ve struggled to put several experiences into words–I can’t ever seem to get the spiritual aspects of it captured to my satisfaction.
    But truly, I’ll spend time trying to organize it in my little brain.

    Mel, my friend, I do thank you for being willing to put in the effort it may take. I wouldn’t be to worried about the wording. Every message you have left always carries a message that comes across very clearly. I do look forward to reading what ever you have to share.
    Thank you
    Bill

  2. venus00 says:

    The first time I heard about “the light” after death was from my grandmother. She was my soulmate and when I was about 9 years old she had a massive stroke and died on the table but was revived. In my childhood innocence I asked her when she came home what it was like to die. She thought about it for a minute and then a wonderful warm smile flooded her face. She leaned over to me, like she was telling me a great secret. She said she hadn’t told anyone but she would tell me (it was taboo to talk about death 40 years ago.) She told me saw herself leave her body and that she was drawn to a bright light. I asked her if she was scared and she assured me that there was no fear only a complete feeling of peace. She described to me seeing a field of green. I remember her trying to describe how vivid the colors were but not quite being able to describe it. She told me that my great-grandfather, her father, was there calling her by her childhood nickname. She teared up telling me about him because he was to her as she was to me. My grandmother had her leg amputated when she was at teenager, but she told me she could run! And she ran into her fathers arms. I don’t quite remember much after that and perhaps it was because she didn’t remember much after that, but it had a profound effect on me. This was the person who I respected, trusted and loved more than anyone in the world and she was telling me that she wasn’t scared of death and if there was any uncomfortably in the process she didn’t remember it.

    I was with my ex-mother in law when she passed on. It was a very gentle process. She was barely strong enough to squeeze our hands but took one final breath and I swear you could literally see her spirit leave her. She didn’t look frightened or in pain. The process appeared to be very peaceful and very natural. It was heartbreaking because we immediately knew she was gone, but it was not horrific in any way to watch. In fact I would say we were blessed and comforted by actually seeing the process.

    Sorry for the long reply but two instances instantly came to mind when you posed the question. The few experiences I’ve had with people who have passed have been comforting ones. I agree the unknown is very frightening or at least unsettling, I guess that is where faith comes in. I too believe in a loving God and I trust that he will bring me home to him in a gentle, wondrous, loving way.

    Venus, my friend I thank you so much for sharing both of these wonderful stories. I am sure just reading them will be a comfort and a blessing to many, myself included. I thank you.
    Bill

  3. Sharon says:

    Bill

    In my time as a HCA and a student nurse I’ve been with many people when they’ve died. I have to say that it’s always been a very gentle, peaceful, gradual process especially when it’s the final stage of a prolonged illness. I have never witnessed any fear in someone’s eyes during those final moments. It is a priviledge to have ‘accompanied’ so many people as they leave this place and move on to the next. Before this experience I too would have been like you – a little wary shall we say of the actual process but now, well – it’s just a gentle slide from this world to the next. As Venus says it’s actually quite comforting to see someone die and realise that it’s so very natural.

    My mother too had a ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ experience as a young girl after a serious car crash left her with a fractured skull. She says there was nothing but a sense of peace and anticipation.

    I hope this helps my lovely xx.

    Sharon xx

    Hi Sharon, I thank you for this wonderful comment. It is reassuring to read such a comment from someone that has been present during the final journey of many.
    I love the words, it is a gentle slide from one world to the next. Those that have had you at their side when they took the gentle slide were indeed lucky to have you there.
    I would be interested in hearing more about your mother’s experience if you or she may be willing to share.
    I do thank you
    Bill

  4. Irene says:

    Dear Bill,
    I don’t have a lot of experience with the subject but I can tell you that I was with my dad when he left this world. He had a massive stroke and was admitted to hospital. I clearly remember running into the room expecting the very worst, but Dad just looked at me, took my hand (with the only hand that still worked) and put my hand to his heart. Dad and I just looked at each other–the message was clear. No need for words… We both knew that this was our final farewell until we meet again. And then slowly he drifted to the other side. He was in my arms when he took his last breath. I’ve been told that the sense of hearing is the last to go so after he stopped breathing I told Dad that I loved him and that if he wanted to go, we would be alright and that we would take care of Mom. I think we’ve kept the promise…

    The other side of all that is (and what is even more scary) is dying and not knowing if we have really lived. That to me is a very difficult thought and one that I try to remember every day, in every situation.

    A tough subject, but it did my soul well to remember, Wiseman.
    Irene

  5. Jo Hart says:

    Hi Bill, I have only had one experience of someone dying with me there. Unfortunately this was a work collegue, who I did not really know, so I don’t know if there wasn’t that closeness there that I didn’t look, or the fact that I was so busy doing CPR that I didn’t register anything. I knew this gentleman had passed, I could just see it in his eyes, but as we are taught with first aid training, you must keep going with CPR until medical help arrives. I can’t say I had an experience with this gentleman, but only that he looked at peace.
    On the other hand mum had our dear Terry pass away in her arms. Mum said he looked scared at first, as she said he knew he was going, and it was like he was fighting it. When mum placed herself behind him and held him to her chest, she said she felt all his fear disapate. He spoke only once and that was “Grandma” and mum said it was very peaceful. We believed he seen Grandma waiting for him and that he was going to be ok. He died at exactly the same time in the morning as my grandma did. 5.27am. Mum said she felt very peaceful and priveleged to be with Terry at this time.
    When my grandma died, mum didn’t make it in time. The nursing home rang her at 5am, but mum missed being with her by 10 minutes. The nurse looking after Grandma was just an Angel. She softly played olden day music – as Grandma loved to dance, and sat holding her hand reciting the rosary with grandma’s rosary between the nurses hand and Grandma’s. The nurse said that when one song came on Grandma had a smile to her face, took her last breath and passed on. When mum asked what was the song that was playing, the nurse put the song on the CD. It was Grandma & Pa’s favourite song they used to dance to. She went we saying dancing into Pa’s arms, who had been patiently waiting 20 years for her.

    These are my little stories, ones that comfort me, and give me great faith. Like I have said before, I have no fear of dying, I only fear the inconvience of it if (God forbid) if it happened now with such a young family. The problem is, we never know when He is planning on calling us Home.

  6. Nancy says:

    Hello, you do not know me but i found your blog when my mom passed away this year. I guess i was looking for some type of comfort or to be honest I don’t really know what I was looking for when I found your blog. My mom was 44 years old this year when she passed, she battled a brain tumor that was non-cancerous for over 10 years. At it’s lastest stage it was diagnoised as cancerous because of the growth of it growing out of control. My mom’s dying process lasted about 2 months I suppose. They say every death process is different but in the end I really think it all ends in peace. I was with my mom everyday since I lived with her and my dad and sister. Me and my sister took care of my mom. My mom excepted the dying process like a true hero. My mom did break down at one time but that one time was it. She knew what was coming for her. I asked her if she was scared? And she said no, she just didn’t want to leave us because she was so young and she still wanted to be here for us. I’m not sure if you would like for me to go through true details of how it went but I suppose I will. My mom was under hospice care and the night before she passed, the nurse said she was dying and only had 2 weeks at the most, well the next day my mom would not open her eyes I suppose because she was too weak, she did point but thats all she did. We were also constantly giving my mom morphine because the night before she passed she was saying she was in great pain, But to be honest before that my mom was not taking much morphine only sometimes at night for leg pain and arm pain and the nurses told us that since it was a low dose of morphine that, that wasn’t the reason she was sleeping all the time, that she was dying, anyway sorry this is long, the last day of my moms death she really wasn’t able to respond to us, so we kept giving her morphine because we did not want her to be in pain, and we would had rather give her the morphine than her lying there in pain and not be able to tell us, anyhow it didn’t take long for my mom to pass that day, her breathing got shorter and shorter between breaths, we layed with my mom and told her it was ok to let go and that we loved her, we really believed she could hear us and I do believe people do wait for certain people to leave the room before they pass, a few minutes after I left the room my mom took her last breath and passed away. I swear to you I had NEVER seen my mom at so much peace. She looked like a angel just laying there. She looked like she was at so much peace and you can truly tell her spirit was gone to heaven. I miss her to death everyday but I know she is in a better place and she’s not suffering from medical problems anymore. I hope this helps you. and I enjoy reading your blogs, really makes me think a lot.

    Nancy

    Hi Nancy, it is so nice to hear from you. I thank you so much for taking the time to share the story of your mother’s passing from this world to the next. I know it must have been a very painful and difficult time for you. As difficult as it must have been I know you mother would have appreciated you being there for her as you were.
    Hearing such stories does help me as I am sure it will help many. Hearing of how she looked so peaceful, I have no doubt she was in heaven.
    I do hope to hear from you again.
    Bill

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