I don’t know how to describe myself right now. Maybe a big pile of mush with love over flowing in every fiber of my being. Just minutes ago I got to see the first pictures of my new grand daughter. To try and even describe this feeling of love is beyond any words I can find. It is wonderful.
As humans our capacity to feel love is just beyond my understanding. This applies to all forms of love but here I am thinking specifically of the love I have for my daughters and in turn grand daughters. This feeling of love is such an amazingly wonderful thing, I am just blown away by it. I just don’t know how we can love so much, but I am really glad we can and do.
I have obviously known my daughter was for about 7 or 8 months or what ever it has been. Now the very second I heard the news, the wee one that has ultimately become little Miss Emery, jumped right into my heart. That love that I felt was real right from that very first second.
This next part is really hard to describe. I am not sure maybe it is because I am male or maybe it is just me. I look back to when my daughters were born. Threw out the pregnancies I was happy, overjoyed at the thought of being a father. My heart did feel that love right from the first moment I learned of the pregnancy. Maybe, I am just not good at conceptual ideas and things. I knew there was a baby growing in the mom’s tummy. Does it make any sense to say some how it feel complete or that I was a dad until I actually saw her for the first time. I was in the delivery room and saw both of my daughters come into this world. The most amazing and life changing moments.
When Billie was born, she in a very good way, hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, she was more than a concept or an idea she was there she was real. In a split second the love I had been carrying in my heart vanished, to be replaced instantly by an overwhelmingly powerful fathers love. My heart was bursting at the seams with love and that feeling has never waivered through the years.
When I learned of the second pregnacy, I was just as overjoyed, excited and happy as I had been for the first one. I had all the same wonderful feelings all over again. I am almost embarassed to admit it but I did actually have a few private moments of worry. Worring, could I possible love a second child as much as the first????
Well, second daughter Shauna answered that question for me. Again I was in the delivery room and she hit my heart with that same ton of bricks. My heart was bursting with love from that very first second and again has never waiver through the years.
Through time, my daughters grew and married. In time I was so happy and excited to learn Billie and Rob were going to bless me with a grand child. Start that whole process all over again. The love is felt instantly. I have to wonder why is it that for me, I have to see the baby or at least a picture, before that wonderful “ton of bricks” hits my heart. The very instant I saw my first picture of my beautiful little princess Sage, she hit my heart with her wonderful “ton of bricks”.
To my little Angel, Emery, I just saw your picture for the very first time and you hit my heart like a sweet ton of bricks. I love you so much and am so very glad you are here. I am such a lucky man