Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Being Resonsible/crazy


Sometimes I think I am turning into an honest to goodness wimp. Went away for a visit with daughter Shauna and hubby Jake, this just past weekend and for the first time ever I came home early because I wasn’t feeling spry. Time spent was wonderful as always and I hated missing out on any of it.

Something I have questioned in my own mind all of my life is, how hard should we push our selves, I mean how hard should we push our bodies. Let’s face it we could always push ourselves to get up and go to work almost irregardless of how we feel. Hey, I can give a prime example of taking it to the ultra extreme, I stayed at work and kept going right through a heart attack, a minor one but none the less a heart attack. I know not very smart.

Now I know there are the extreme sports and all of that where you push your body to the max. hey even the olympic athletes do that. I am not talking that kind of pushing yourself. I am talking more of the how hard or how far do you push youself when you are just plain not feeling well.

I am sure I would qualify as the perfect “poster boy” for how not to do things. Worked through the heart attack, broke my right wrist and missed one day. I am right handed and that made things difficult. The setting of the broken wrist was botched and they had to rebreak, taking a piece of bone from my hip and graft it into my wrist, missed 2 days. Hip hurt so much I practically had to be carried into my desk. Once I was in that chair there was just no way I was able to get out. I look back now and think of how totally crazy and ridiculous I was. I can think about how look where all of that got me, to the point my health is in today. There are always 2 ways to look at everything. The other way is that in maybe a warped way it allows me to feel good about myself. I can hold my head high knowing I did my best. I was hired to be there 5 days a week and I did my best to do that, I always gave work my best effort. Was any of that asked of me or expect of me, obviously not. I am finding more and more the expectations, the thoughts and feeling of others towards me don’t matter nearly as much as my thoughts and feelings about myself. I do know though that I am definitely a perfect model of how not to do things.

I guess it is like all things in life you have to somehow find a healthy balance. I still have no idea in my own mind really what that balance would look like or where the line should be drawn. I find in some ways I am contradicting myself. I write so often of how I believe life is to be enjoyed, really lived and I do believe that. I write of be good to yourself, be kind to yourself, you health must take priority over all else and I also believe that.

Now I am not talking of anyone with a serious illness, that is an entirely different story. I am not even talking about the days when we have a wicked cold or a serious flu. I am talking about the kind of day we all have, the days where you just don’t feel all that good, when there really is nothing wrong you just feel off. Or, maybe the sinuses are stuffed up. Everyone knows the kind of days I am talking about. I am trying to figure out when is it justified to call in sick and when is it just taking advantage of the system to get yourself a day off or work. Now this is an issue that applies to the majority of the population and I admit to not having a clear picture in my mind of what should be. My history shows I am obviously speaking from one extreme side of this issue and am trying to understand the other side. I ask for your input. Obviously, as in any issue there are 2 sides to the coin and which ever side they are on some will take it to the extreme. So what is a fair balance, where is the middle ground? I have heard of people keeping track of sick day entitlements and then utilize them as a mini vacation. I am not trying to say any of this is right or wrong. I am trying to understand the thought process of some and to really understand where the fine line comes in to play. The fine line between being an irresponsible employee taking advantage of a sitution and being an overly dedicated wacko like me.

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4 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Being Resonsible/crazy

  1. Hi Bill, responsibly used, I have no issue with ‘mental health days’. Now obviously if you have a HUGE day of work with important things that are time sensivite then that’s not the day to take one, but we all hae days where nothing missed can’t be made up later.

    I firmly believe that we only get one ride on the ‘ride of life’ and it had better be a good one. Your dedication to your job is commendable, if crazy!

    How do we differentiate the lazy people from the good ones? By judging what they do when they are around, and how the recover from being away. My two cents.

    BTW, am planning a trip to th Winnipeg area … would love to meet you in person. Please email me if you feel the same way.

    M

    Hi Martha, I also have no problem with the occasional mental health day.
    I would love to meet you anytime you are in Winnipeg, have already sent you the email. Just let me know when you will be here.
    Bill

  2. Shauna says:

    Hey Dad thanks for the visit this past weekend it was great as always. We sure enjoy when you and vi come and we look forward to the visit in October.

    Love you lots

    Shauna

    Hey Shauna, I thank you for the wonderful time on the weekend. I am like wise looking forward to the Oct. weekend.
    Love you lots and lots
    Dad

  3. Irene says:

    Dear Bill,
    I live by a motto: Better to wear out than to rust out. The trick is to find the happy medium between the two. That’s not always easy to do for workaholics and I suspect that’s what both you and I are/were. Looking back on all that time, I often wonder: was I working so hard so that I felt better or was I working so hard so that someone else would feel better? That is, was I deeply involved with the work so that other people would notice me and thus feed my ego? Or was I trying to help other people get noticed?
    Somebody, a long time ago, reminded me of something important: Our job is simply that, our JOB, not our LIFE. Another side of that is that my work/job was my prayer so I would naturally want to make it was pure and as perfect as I possibly could make it. Slacking off or even over doing it would weaken my prayer. It helped to keep that in mind so that balance became easier to accept.
    Lots of love and light to you and yours, Wiseman.
    Irene

  4. Richmond says:

    Once we were doing a procedure on an 80plus guy inside the operating room. The man’s legs are already permanently crooked, his joints were all stiff, he was as kin and bones. Despite the good care that his children has tried to give him ha still managed to get all the complications of being bedridded. He was completely helpless. The surgeonh and the assistant surgeon were a couple, the guy said to his wife, “when I grew old and became as helpless as he is, I want you to kill me.” The anesthesiologist replied, “I want you guys to perform Eithanasia to me if one day you have to put tube3s in my mouth.” So that got me thinking, “how far am I willing to go?” or I gues in your case the question is “how hard should we push our bodies?”

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