Dying Man’s Daily Journal – We are just people


I thank all that over the past few days have left me such kind and complimentary comments. I am actually feeling kind of shy or embarrassed or something and not sure how to respond. I thank all so very much, I will be returning to reread these kind words when ever in need of a boost all are so heart warming. I will respond to each but need a day or two to come up with an appropriate reply for now I thank you so very much.

A few days ago I did a post on appreciating men, this followed by a post on appreciating women. I am so grateful and happy at the responses I got to the posts. I notice I have received many more responses from the ladies appreciating their men than I have from men appreciating their ladies. I pretty much expected this. It is not that the appreciation is not there it is just collectively as a group men have a more difficult time in expressing our thoughts and feelings. Hey, I turned to an email to express my feelings as it was worded just so much better than anything I could come up with.

I am never sure how successfully my wording gets what I am trying to say across. It is just it seems more and more in the world today it seems we are categorizing people. Painting all with the same brush and that is just not fair or right. Now, I am pretty sure if I asked pretty much anyone, are you judgemental and the immediate response would be, NO. I say excellent to that. But, really is that true? I don’t think that is true at least for the majority of us, myself included.

Let’s just look at thoughts of men in general. Granted our individual life circumstances will play a huge part in how men are viewed in general. Let’s put our individual situations aside and look out at the world in general. What are our thoughts about men as a total group. I have to wonder how many people if honest would admit to having thoughts along the lines of, “men are all the same they are only after one thing”. I could come up with a dozen different examples of this sort of thinking, but I think the one makes my point.

Let’s move to the ladies. Now in this way, I think the ladies have it even tougher than the guys do. It starts of way back in high school. There were the “good girls” and there were the “bad girls”. I am not sure how it is today but back in my day that what was seem. Today, it seems so very much that the ladies are still be judged or categorized more and more on physical appearance and even age. Now, how wrong is that?

Still claim yourself to be non judgemental. OK, picture this, you are walking down the street and coming towards you, you see 2 men walking towards you, both about the same age, size etc.. One is obviously a street person dressed in rags, the other a business person dressed neatly in a suit and tie. Are you going to see them both in the same way?

Why do we have the need to categorize people? Just as importantly, why is it as individuals we seem to feel an need to be viewed as being in a particular group or category. Why is it so important to us as to how others may view us? Isn’t what we think of ourselves more important than what anyone else thinks. Do we give away ourselves to conform so as to fit into a society demanded group? Why? Are we better people if we know we are seen as being in the “right” group? If we do we do see ourselves as being in the “right” group, then do we also see ourselves as being maybe a little bit better or superior to those who are not. Why? People are people simple as that.

I am hoping men will read this and say to themselves, “he is right, so often we as a gender are often being categorized, all painted with the same brush and that isn’t fair, we are not all alike. Many women and often society as a whole tends to see us all based on the actions or inactions of a few and that isn’t fair”!!!

I am hoping Ladies will read this and say to themselves, “he is right, so often we as a gender are often being categorized, even to the point it has become based on our physical appearance and age, that just isn’t fair”!!!

I hope each individual, male and female, will then look within themselves and think and realize, I am me, I am an individual, I am unique. I should not be included in any generalizations about my gender, that is unfair to me as an individual”!!!

Now there is always a flip side to every coin. We realize our particular gender is being descriminated against. The opposite sex which ever it may be has unfair, unrealistic expectations or thoughts of who I am or who I should be. That is not fair, I am me, look at me and accept me for who I am. I am my own person and don’t deserve to be categorized by anyone based on anything. To that I say fair enough and good job. That is the only way in which anyone should be viewed.

I think it is easy enough for all of us to recognize when our gender is being mistreated as a whole. Now ask yourself, am I guilty of mistreatment of the opposite sex base on gender stereo typing? I think to at least some degree we all are.

I go back to my often used “Bill” statistics. About 5% of people being both men and women are Earth Angels. About 5% of people being both men and women are jerks. The remaining 90% of people being both men and women are nice kind, good hearted people doing their best in life. The lines between the groups aren’t carved in stone and we all jump from group to group depending on the situation.

In my typical rambling style, I hope I have brought about my point that each gender has it’s own issues and problems. Everyone should be seen as an individual with no gender based judgements or expectations in place.

I pose a simple question to all. Would this all not equally apply other people, say people of other faiths or other cultures? Shouldn’t everyone be seen only as an individual? Wouldn’t it be wrong to view others of a different culture or faith based on stereo typical thoughts or ideas we may have? Please tell me your thoughts.

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4 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – We are just people

  1. Hi Bill, thanks for stopping by and commenting on my post. I enjoy reading your ramblings…thanks for sharing your story and thoughts.

  2. Richmond says:

    Because of this post I thought about something else…

    Are you aware of “penis envy? According to freud, the father of psychoanalysis, preschool children begin to realize the distinction between sexes. Girls, at this time, as they see the roles their parents perform, start to develop the penis envy… the girls were envious of the boys’ penises- or what it symbolizes like masculinity, strength, superiority and many traits that are regarded as MANLY. ( i said, that are REGARDED AS, not distinctly, manly)

    Many of the things that we develop in our childhood has to be accomplished in order for us to go to the next stage of our development, if we do not we remain fixated to them (example, people who were toilet trained with too much rigidity become perfectionists) apparently women do not resolve this penis envy even until they grow up. That’s why there is feminism, that’s why there is the song “SURVIVOR” by the Destiny’s child, that’s why there are women’s organizations, THAT”S WHY WOMEN WILL ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THEY ARE BEING UPSTAGED BY MEN IN EVERY ASPECT OF THEIR LIVES.

    (That is according to freud.)

    🙂

    Hi Richmond, I am not even sure how to respond to this. It does sort of boggle my mind. I have heard the term penis envy but have never understood it and well still don’t understand it.
    I understand and appreciate you are quoting or paraphrasing the writings of Freud, the father of psychoanalysis. I am not going to even try and pretend I understand the inner workings of the human mind.
    I am sure Freud was a great man and came up with many great ideas but within my mind and heart I just can’t agree with this line of thinking. Or, at very least I most certainly don’t understand it.
    I can see the penis as being seem as a symbol of masculinity but certainly not as a sign of superiority. Can some women suffer from penis envy, well I suppose. I have a penis and am very glad I do, but having one certainly doesn’t make me feel superior to women. I struggle to understand why not having one would make a woman feel inferior. That part of our physical bodies does make men and women different. Speaking just for myself, I am really happy about that difference.
    In my mind feminism started to try and balance the scales between the way men and women were being treated in the world. I have to run but will be adding more thoughts either to this reply or as a post.

  3. monmon says:

    I am a huge fan of freud. WOO HOO

    I know he has a lot of fans. Thank you for the visit and the comment.
    Bill

  4. Mel says:

    <– more of a Jung fan, but has some respect for Freud

    Wisepersoninmylife assures me the ‘why’ of it isn’t really relevant–it’s the HOW.

    How are you going to treat others–why you’re treating them poorly is simply a justification for bad behavior.
    If I know I’m ‘there’ with someone, then I have the responsibility to get to HOW I’m going to do it differently.

    And the HOW=Honesty, Openmindedness and Willingness.

    Not always easy…….but ‘required’ stuff in my life.

    And I think I’d answer the questions with a ‘we’re all children of G-d and we each have a right to be here’.
    But that’s just me, Bill.
    I gave myself a ‘hate’ license for too long–I’m still playing ‘catchup’ for all that wreckage I created, thinkin’ I was ‘better than’…..refusing to admit it was fear that I was ‘less than’. Know what I mean?

    Mel, you have a lot of deep wisdom here. The why vs. the how. You are right the why is just a justification for what ever we do. The how is our responsibility, ours and ours alone.
    “HOW=Honesty, Openmindedness and Willingness.” this is excellent
    I thank you so much for sharing.
    Bill

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