Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Dying from Embarrassement

Well I am back in the land of those that are able to sit comfortably. I have realized something over the past week. I have written in the past of how I think the topic of death and dying is almost like the last taboo topic left to us. It is something we just don’t want to think about or talk about.

I realize there is another topic that we or at least I am reluctant or embarrassed to talk about. Now never in my wildest imagination did I think I would ever be writing about my butt. I was kind of reluctant or embarrassed a little bit ago, to mention I was going for a colonoscopy (spelling???) and how I was dreading it. Now, I am a guy that has faced several major surgeries in the past up to and even including open heart surgery. Now, none of these did I dread as much as I did the very thought of the colonoscopy. It wasn’t even a fear or dread of what they might find. My dread was of how and where on my body the procedure was being done. Just the thought, “they are going to be shoving a tube way up my butt”. Now i like to consider myself a fairly strong man in that I can generally face what ever comes. But this really had me rattled. Just the thought, “they are going to shove a tube up my butt, yuck!!!!! They better be planning on giving me big time drugs or this just isn’t happening!!!!!!”

I want to thank the wonderful staff at Seven Oaks Hospital for their kind and considerate care. You were able to take one of the most uncomfortable times in my life and turn it instead into, one of the most uncomfortable times of my life while being surrounded by kind caring people. It was still YUCK, that is until the drugs kicked in. I am not sure what was in those 2 needles but they certainly had some powerful sleepy, happy juice in them. From there it was a breeze, no problem at all. Actually, the entire procedure was no problem at all, it was just me getting past that YUCK factor in my head. I have to wonder how many of us avoid seeking medical attention or avoid procedures just because of the “YUCK” factor? All medical procedures are done for a specific reason. In my case it was to allow the doctors, via a camera attached to the end of the inserted tube to see what was going on, way up in the hidden areas within my body. There are times when the doctors just need to be able to see what is going on in there. I suppose another option would be exploratory surgery to allow them to see your insides which I am sure would be worse.

I did a short post just stating I had gone for the colonoscopy and added some sort of comment that they had done a minor procedure while “in” there. I just listed it as a minor procedure as I now realize I was embarrassed to say it was hemorrhoids. Yup, turns out I had 4 of them and they were dealt with at the time. Whoa, I sure never thought I would be writing a post about having hemorrhoids. Why do I find that embarrassing? I mean I am not alone in this millions and millions of others have them, we just don’t acknowledge or talk about it, embarrassing?

Now I am certainly not trying to suggest that hemorrhoids, bowel movements ect. should become a topic of conversation at say the dining room table but hey if that is what you are comfortable with go for it. That just wouldn’t be within my comfort level. When I think about it though, I am sure no one would have a problem say talking about a broken arm or something. Really when I think about it we are just talking about a different functioning, important body part. I guess it all takes us back to the embarrassment of the YUCK factor, which obviously I can relate to. I do think though that we have to reach a comfort level where by we can at least talk to our doctors about any issues and not put them off unnecessarily.

I am really getting personal now, but I have known about those hemorrhoids for about 10 years. They were annoying and bothersome but I just lived with them rather than face the embarrassment and the yuck factor of dealing with them. I put up with them for about 10 years and now after the procedure is done I can only ask my self why? Why did I put up with them for so long?

I am just an average guy no different from anyone else. I therefore assume that to one degree or another many others may share my nervousness and embarrassment of the YUCK factor when it comes to anything relating to or having anything to do with our butts. I can only imagine that there are people that may actually be dying, simply because they are adverse to some particular “embarrassing” medical procedures. I hope and pray not. Medical tests done on a timely basis can be life saving. I pose this simple question, are you willing to maybe even die to avoid a little embarrassment. I hope not.

OK, I have embarrassed myself by writing about my experience. I hope someone may take my message to heart and go and have what ever tests are needed to be done. I can now speak from experience in this particular area. Colonoscopy no big deal at all, hemorrhoids are a bit more of a deal, but only a bit more. Just uncomfortable sitting for a while, but then hey, I am an admitted wimp.

When I really think about it what was there to be embarrassed about. My procedure was nothing new to the medical staff at the hospital, they had seen it all before. It was new to me, but not them. Another things hits me, why be embarrassed, I poop, you poop and so does the doctor doing the procedure. If he/she isn’t embarrassed why should I be.


7 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Dying from Embarrassement

  1. Mel says:

    <– standing next in line for the colonoscopy.

    And it’s not so much the ‘yuck’ factor as it is the ‘ouch’ factor for me. I’ve been dealing in ‘yuck’ since February when a hefty courst of antibiotics killed off the good and bad bacteria in my body. Hence–my functioning has been haywire. And because I’m immune compromised, it’s been a pain to get the bacteria count back to where it needs to be. Oy….what a pain in the arse……LOL……literally!

    So, off for a colonoscopy I go next week…..checking to see that there’s no obstruction creating the problems I’m experiencing. And hopefully a different treatment as this one’s slower than slow!

    It feels invasive and personal–and undoubtely is. (been there, done this before–no biggie!) And just so ya know, we DO talk bowels and poop at the supper table around this joint…LOL
    Nope, I have no shame! 😉

    Mel my friend, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I really hope they are able to discover a treatment plan that will work quickly. Anything that is a “pain in the arse” is no fun, been there done that. I wish you well my friend please keep me updated.
    Just for the record you would be amazed if not shocked at some of the things that are discussed around the supper table here.
    Be well my friend

  2. Mel says:

    P,S. I’m well and truly glad to hear you’re feeling a tad better, Bill!

    Thank you Mel, as I am a couple of days late in responding to my comments, I can update you and tell you I am back to being normal. Well as normal as I ever get.

  3. Jo Hart says:

    Ahhhh – Imagine I was an Emu, then imagine that Emu with it’s head in the sand !!!!! I know I got em, I just ignore em, and eventually I forget about em, until next time they want to play havoc with me. It’s working for me so far…… and besides, I think I make a pretty neat Emu !!!

    Thankyou to all for all your prayers and well wishes. I have stopped taking over Bill’s blog, so as soon as I know a final verdict, I will let everyone know what is happening. It all is so very messy.
    Mel, thanks for all those hugs, they have been well needed. Again thankyou to everyone from the bottom of my heart.

    Jo, I thank you for having the courage and the strength to share with us as you do. Sharing with us all a very painful private part of you life. Any and all of your comments are always more than welcome here.
    Be good to yourself my friend.

  4. Vicky from SA says:

    O my word… I had to have the same procedure in February as well as one down the throat as well. So I know how you felt. The nightmare started the day before when I had to drink this dreadful stuff to clear the bowel. It took all my might not to heave it up down the loo as it needed to go through the system and come out the other end… What a nightmare! Then having survived that.. I then had to have someone peek up my ring and down my throat. Not too comfortable but thankfully whatever they gave me send me into heaven and I was totally relaxed about the whole thing.

    Hopefully never again ! We are a funny bunch.
    Love and Light
    Vicky from SA

    Vicky, my dear sister-in-law, I had no idea you went through this or if I did memory guy is showing through again. I hope and pray things have turned out well, I will be emailing you very soon.

  5. Vicky from SA says:

    I suppose I should add why I needed the colonscopy in Feb. Well I donate plasma to make antidote for rabies. 20 years ago I was subjected to having to handle a rabid dog and because I had the foam on my hands and my fingers in its mouth (I thought it was choking) I needed to hasve a series of innoculations. I survived.. and todate my antibody levels are still very high so I try to give back to others in the same way. If you contract rabies there is no cure so it is best to have the innoculations immediately.. Anyway the blood bank where I go has discovered that I am continually anaemic and after tests discovered that I bleed internally. Not a lot but enough to cause a problem. Well the results of the colonoscopy are that I have diverticulitis.. not a serious thing but inconvenient. Hopefully in time I manage to get myself right.
    So there are so many reasons for colonoscopy and I want people out there to know… It really is not as bad as we imagine. And yes I reiterate .. we are funny beings.

    Love and Light to all.

    We are all so very glad you survived the rabies. It is just such a thing that you would do, the giving back with the regular blood donations. You know I am always proud of you this is just another reason why.
    I had to google diverticulitis to see what it was and it doesn’t sound pleasant. You know you are already in my prayers and will always be there. You are right about the colonoscopy being such an important tool for the doctors to be able to use to diagnose different conditions. Such an important procedure to have done and It really is not such a big deal.
    Thank you for the visit and your comment

  6. ycmw says:

    Bill, I’m so glad to have ‘found’ your place. Looks like I’m in wonderful company. Your ‘vitality’ is contagous and just the trick to ‘get me back on my horse’.
    Thankyou so much.

    Hi Vonne, welcome to “my place”. I do hope you will visit often and comment many times, would always love to hear from you.

  7. Peter says:

    Embarrassment is at times a big problem it stops us getting medical on time espacially when it comes to butt problems,I always remember my father whispering to my mother about his medications for his hemorrhoids,its not just something that most people want to openly admit to.
    To this end Holly Hayden has put together a solution to remedy this problem in the comfort of your home,called the H Miracle.

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