Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Respect/tolerance


Had a good nights sleep and am feeling pretty good. Have just a niggling of what I hope is not one of my headaches. Thankfully it is only very occasionally but I do get these head aches that are just wicked. My brain tumor is on the right side of my head. Now go figure, it is on the right hand side but apparently affects my on the left hand side, hmm. Anyway, when I do get these headaches it is totally on the left hand side. Through my meditation I am actually trying to work on a way in which I can in the midst of such a head ache, basically just move over and live in the right side of the brain. Possible???? If I get a big one I am not even sure if it is still just a head ache. It is all on the left hand side but even the upper parts of my nose ache. It extends up through my eye, all the way through my head, down my neck and extends into the left shoulder. Not much fun for sure. Some times these head aches serve to remind me that I am a lucky man. As bad as it may get, I still have the luxury of knowing that within a few hours or by tomorrow at least it will be gone. Others do not have that luxury and face it constantly, my prayers go to them.

I know in the past I have written about my wonderful neighbors Art and Lisa. They have been together for years and on Saturday they made if “official”, they got married. I wish you a life of wonderful loving happiness.

Their house has been a bee hive of activity over this past week with friends and family arriving for every where. Such an exciting time for all, with much celebrating going on of the joyous occasion. I hope all had and are still having a great time. Actually this morning at about 8:00am I was surprised to look out the window and see Lisa, her mother, brother Garry and a friend out there playing a bean bag tossing game somewhat like horse shoes. I grabbed a coffee and went out to chat over the fence. Again I was surprised when I heard they had been at it all night. They had literally partied the night away. Good for you, I hope wonderful lasting memories were created.

I had one more surprise coming. While I was standing there a different neighbor arrived to complain about the noise they were creating and had created all night long. Now that definitely threw a wet blanket on the festive mood.

Now I have been thinking about this and can see I think both sides of the coin. There are very few of us that don’t have neighbors. I believe we must have both respect for but also tolerance of our neighbors. It is one of those fine line balance things. This issue this morning is fresh in my mind so I will use it to I hope explain what I mean. If any of my neighbors happen to read this and I offend sorry.

Let’s start off with the newly weds and how I see their side of the story. It is a time to celebrate. Friends and family have gathered from all over the country. Let’s make the most of this special gathering and celebrate and party. Fair enough.

Then there is the other side of the coin. I should be able to sleep in my own home without being bothered by noise from neighbors especially late into the night. Fair enough.

This is where we get to the respect and tolerance thing. As a good and considerate neighbor I should indeed keep noise levels down especially when I know people are trying to sleep. This is where we get to what I suppose is a judgement call. What is an acceptable amount of noise. I mean surely I can’t be expected not to spend any time in my own yard irregardless of the time of day. Now in this particular situation, I am the immediate neighbor and I hear virtually nothing, certainly not enough to in anyway bother or interrupt my sleep and I had my windows open. In fact the only time I did hear anything was at some time through the night I got up to have a “pee” and I could hear voices talking and soft music playing. Nothing that in anyway hindered me going back to sleep. All of which I suppose explains why I was surprised to see them out in the yard this morning. But, hey that is me, maybe others are more sensitive to noise than I.

Now we get to the tolerance part. We all have neighbors and have to expect and accept they are going to live their lives. Living their lives may occasionally spill over into our lives, noise etc.. Now to be good and considerate neighbors we have to also accept that. We get to another judgement call. How much do we tolerate or put up with before enough is enough all ready. Valid point and I am sure it will differ from individual to individual and again fair enough.

Legitimately everyone is entitled to their own view on this and may agree or disagree with mine.

I know all of my neighbors are good people as are by far the majority of people in the world. I accept they are living their own lives according to their timetable in life and this may not always match mine. While we are all the same we are also individuals that allows us to be slightly different in the direction or timing of our lives. If I am to live around people with any degree of joy I must accept this. I accept that they living of their lives as they should be and by the mere fact we are neighbors, in the living of their lives, it may well spill over into my life. I respect that and accept it, I can’t expect them to live their lives by my time table or in a way I see as being acceptable. I can’t expect anyone’s life to revolve around me and I don’t expect that. I know I must be tolerant of and allow for the fact my neighbors may well cause little interruption’s in my life as they live theirs and that is fair enough.

Now back to my case in point with my neighbors. Art and Lisa are wonderful neighbors, they are not noisy. Now if you know me, you would know I would most certainly have no problem going over and complaining about the noise levels if I felt by my standards it was necessary. I think we all need on occasion to have a little bend in our normal tolerance levels. For me last night would have been one of them. Keep in mind I didn’t hear anything. But you know what, knowing it was such a special occasion, they could have had the wildest nosiest party in the city. They could have kept me awake all night and I would be just smiling thinking I hope it was a wonderful party, a wonderful time and that many lasting memories were created.

I hope everyone would sit down and really think about it. Are you showing your neighbors due respect and allowing the appropriate amount of tolerance? At least enough tolerance to really allow them to live their lives.

What kind of neighbor are you?

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3 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Respect/tolerance

  1. Jo Hart says:

    Congratsulations to Art & Lisa. May you be blessed with many years of happiness and well being.

    I agree with you totally Bill about tollerance. My husband had his 40th Birthday in March. We never throw wild parites at all, so we did the right thing, and advised all the neighbours about what was happening etc. We had about 50 people coming and a juke box hired. We were set for a party.
    At exactly 12:05am in the morning, the police knocked on the door and told us to turn the juke box down, fair enough, time was getting on and yes we were a little loud. We quitened down, a few people left, the noise I would of thought at an acceptable one. However, when you still have 20 odd people yapping away, with mind you a belly full of beer, the octive level of voices are still quite loud. The police came, broke up the party as the neighbours were complaining. Put it this way, I was peeved, we let them all know, it was one night out of the blue, and all they did was constantly ring the police on us. If I hear a neighbouring party on a Friday or Saturday night, I think good on em’. Different matter if it’s happening solidly from the same neighbours keeping up the household regularly, but come on, I have to admit, my neighbours are a joke, they have definately shown no tolerance whatsoever.

    Hi Jo, belated happy birthday to your hubby. Sorry to hear the birthday party had such a “wet blanket” thrown on it. Intolerance is such a sad thing when it is directed at the occasional even such as you describe.
    Bill

  2. Irene says:

    Dear Bill,
    This is an interesting situation!! I hope if I’m ever in the same spot as those that were having difficulty with the noise that I would think about this: Is the noise a problem (a real one) or is the noise just an inconvenience? Problems are things that don’t have an answer–and there are really very few of them. All the rest of that kind of stuff is just inconvenience. Surely, we need to try to be more tolerant and forgiving . I hope that I would too enjoy the joy of the day and the evening and the night. How wonderful that two people have decided to entrust their futures to each other!! Much love, luck and happiness to the new couple!!
    Lots of food for thought and consideration, Wiseman. Thanks again…
    Irene

    Irene, and you call me wise man. There is a lot of wisdom contained within your message. Recognizing the difference between problems and inconveniences, what a wonderful way to look at things. I thank you for sharing this.
    Bill

  3. Mel says:

    Boy, do I know this one!!!!

    And I agree with you, sir. There are moments when I simply get to accept the circumstances as being just that–they’re the circumstances and not the norm. I’m not particularly bothered by the neighbours who, three times a year, have family and friends over to celebrate. And boy…..do they celebrate and have a gay ol’ time! LOL We’re always invited and since we’re not particularly the ‘partying’ type, we make an appearance and leave them to their celebrating. The other 300 odd days of the year–all’s quiet on the western front.

    Party on! 😉

    It’s three days of the year and for that, I’m grateful.
    I’ve lived next door to ‘party central’….what I have today is sooooooooooo much more respectful and tolerable.

    Now…..don’t ask himself this question. LOL I swear, the man can hear a fly fart after 10pm. LOL

    You have got it when you say: “There are moments when I simply get to accept the circumstances as being just that–they’re the circumstances and not the norm.” There are enough real things in live to get in a dither about without even paying attention to minor inconveniences.
    Bill

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