Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Resisting Change


Yesterday was a good day but was it ever a long day. It was close to 5:00am before I settled down to sleep. Vi wasn’t home, she had gone to visit friends and the visit evolved into being a sleep over. With her gone I decided to order a pizza, that was around 6:00 and all was good, it tasted good and I enjoyed it. It was maybe 10:00 or 11:00 and my gut area started to rumble and roll. Glad I was alone as the area around me often didn’t smell all that pleasant. Then it started, the urgent need to run to the bathroom and sit atop the throne. That just seemed to carry on and on. I did learn one thing, late, late night TV isn’t very good. Up this morning and things seem to be back in order. I now know one place I won’t be ordering Pizza from again.

Over the past while I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have been thinking of past events and a realization really came to me about myself and how much I have and still do resist change. I am talking in so many different areas big and small. One small but I realize typical example is, don’t eat out that often. But, when we do decide to venture out for a meal, it will virtually guaranteed be to one of the same 2 or 3 restaurants. It is also virtually guaranteed that at which ever restaurant it is, I will order the same meal that I always do at that particular spot. I am either just plain boring or lacking any sort of adventuresome spirit. By ordering the same meal in the same spot I know what to expect, I am not risking having any surprises thrown at me be they bad or be they GOOD. Even with this, such a really trivial thing in live, I have to wonder, how much or what have I missed out on.

From here my mind some how wandered as it always does. I began thinking of the over all picture of my life. I see that big picture as being like a beautiful tapestry of my life being woven by God. Each day, each event being but one thread in that tapestry. Now should the same event happening in life be represented by the same color thread, mine tapestry could very well be pretty boring. I know this is a huge over simplification and I only use it to get my point across.

Sometimes I wonder if this resistance to change isn’t something we are born with, possibly as a natural survival technique. If we are actually born with an element of this resistance built into us. Maybe it is natural that when life gets a hold of us, events, circumstances what ever play out before us, that what may start out as a natural survival instinct gets blown way out of proportion to the fear based unhealthy situation in which many of us find ourselves living. It causes us to seek the “safety” of our familiar surrounding such as they may be. We grown to fear change as it will force us to face an element of the unknown. Fear is always our greatest and strongest enemy. Fear of facing the unknown can be so debilitating we resist it, no matter what the cost to ourselves. This debilitating fear of change can effect us in every area of our lives, big and small. I think it was Winston Churchill who said: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”. I hope everyone will take an honest look at their own lives to see if fear is holding you back from making positive change.

Fear of death, I think would easily be the most common fear shared by most if not all. If we fear small changes in our lives, I suppose it is understandable that we would fear this the biggest of all possible changes.

I have written before of how I believe our physical death marks only an end to our physical time here on this earth. We do not die, other than in the physical sense. In a very broad sense I can almost see it as we leave this world we are being something akin to being born in the Spiritual Realm. That is what I believe but let’s face it there is no greater unknown than what lies after death.

The fact that we are going to die at some time, is truly the only thing absolutely everyone on this planet has in common. We each face it in our own individual, personal, private and unique ways. This is truly the greatest “change” we will ever face in this physical life of ours. Individually, we dread it, we fear it, we refuse to even think about it. As our time draws closer many will dread and fear it more and more. Some will even become desperate in their frantic efforts to avoid facing this huge change. During our entire life times and more particularly as we near the end, we are surrounded by many that assure us of the wonders,the beauty, the love that awaits us after we pass over. The love, the peace, the joy, the wonders of Heaven. We hear all of this but fight facing the change and the unknown that lies ahead.

Ultimately, The Good Lord at the time of His choosing will step in and call us home, in effect forcing the change upon us, ready or not.

In my mind I equate this to being part of the natural life cycle. I look at the whole birth, rebirth idea of mine. We fight leaving this world fearing facing the unknown and what I think of as the rebirth into the next world.

I know I have written about this before but this leads me to think of our birth into this physical world. I wonder if somehow, through some miracle we were able to actually talk to and carry on a conversation with a soon to be born baby. I know this is a stretch of the imagination but try to imagine it. Imagine a soon to be born baby. A baby that has spent his/her entire existence  tucked away snuggly, safely within the mothers womb. This warm, safe environment is all the baby has ever known. I am talking magical, miraculous times here so bear with me. Suppose suddenly this baby realized it was soon to leave the comfort the  safety of the only home it has ever known. As we are magically able to talk to this baby, we could assure him/her of the wonderful world it will be entering. We could speak of the loving family waiting its arrival. We could speak of all the love and care he/she will receive from so many. We could tell the baby of all the wonders that await its arrival. We could assure the baby that he/she will be so much better off than they are now, stuck in the wet, dark, cramped confines of the mother’s womb. Now try to imagine the thoughts that might be running through the baby’s mind. He/she will soon be forced to leave the only home it has ever known, within the mother’s womb. Granted, the baby may even realize that his/her “living conditions” inside the womb have become intolerably cramped as he/she is grown. My magical thinking and communicating baby may have even realized a change has to be made. Living quarters are just to cramped. Now in spite of our magical baby knowing a change must be made and in spite of all of our assurances or the wonders that await him/her after birth. How comfortable do you think this baby would likely be at venturing out leaving the only home it has ever known. I have to wonder at how willing that baby would be to willingly leave the comfort of the only home it has ever known. Maybe, that is why some babies seem to fight to delay their arrival into this world and again the Good Lord must step in and give them that little extra push.

Just thoughts according to “Bill”

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5 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Resisting Change

  1. Jennie says:

    Uh oh. Maybe I’m continuing a life long pattern. Even when I was born, I was overdue and labor had to be induced. (ha ha).

    Sometimes I’ve moved forward with great courage. Sometimes I hold back from fear. I think it has been when I had a very strong desire and vision of what I wanted, plus a clear road map of how to get it , that I have moved forward.

    Perhaps because my most recent dream crashed and burned, I’m having a bit of trouble grabbing hold of a new one

  2. Jo Hart says:

    Your thoughts “according to Bill” are always a good read, and let me tell you make us have a think about things.

    Sorry I haven’t been around – I have been away with work and not able to get near a computer.

    Firstly a huge thank-you to Henri, what a wonderful man to take the time out to help me with my predicament with my 6 year old. Your message has meant a lot to me, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will keep you posted on my progress.

    Well Bill as with your pizza, I ventured into the world of the unknown with Thai food. Never had it before, and I have to tell you it was delicious, but well the next day the spicey food, did play havoc on my old tum tum…….. Let’s just say, Glad we weren’t sitting in the same room together !!!!

  3. colouredmind says:

    “Sometimes I wonder if this resistance to change isn’t something we are born with, possibly as a natural survival technique.”

    I really agree with this, i suppose the fear of change is a primal instict because it can put you in threatening positions and expose you to risk. While the benefit of tryong new things is usually high i suppose fear of change creqated in the mind is our brin trying to tell us that is is a bad trade off

    Hello colouredmind and welcome to the site, I thank you for the visit and for leaving a comment. I agree change can sometimes put us in what can seem like threatening positions. I suppose everything depends on the change we are talking about. I do think though there are times when we must over come the fear and face what ever changes we know we must make in our lives to make them better and healthier. That is a tough thing to do. I will be over to visit you at your site.
    Please stop by again.
    Bill

  4. aman says:

    Hi, this is amna here…i’ve been workin on this project and i need people’s views….

    Can anyone please give their comments on these questions given below…Please!! I’ll be very very thankful to you… looking forward for your responses….

    -Is there any serious demand for environmental indicators?
    -Will the environmental indicators contribute in the same manner in the development of environmental policy as the economic indicators served for economic policy?
    -Aggregation of environmental indicators under certain framework will lead to compile state of the environment of any geographical area?
    -What are the most important uses of environmental indicators?
    -Can the environmental indicators be made to so simple that these can be understood by the general public?

    Please help me out covering my project :((( gotta submit it on 13th of June…please
    Thanks….

  5. Grace says:

    Hi, Bill 🙂

    Fear of change, huh? That’s a biggy for alot of people and I’ve often wondered if the fear of change (or lack of fear) is somehow programmed into our DNA. For example, I’m an Aries and I thrive on change. We’re the “firstborn” of the zodiac, and – generally speaking – pioneers 🙂 Change, for many of us Rams, comes as easy breathing.

    On the other hand, my mom (and 2 ex’s) is a Libran and VERY resistant to change. Librans are the balanced ‘scales’, you know? 🙂 And I’ve often wondered if – in their attempt to keep everything balanced and under control in their lives – if ‘change’ is somehow threatening to their overall sense of things.

    When it comes to personal change (of which I have some experience! lol), I love this quote by Anais Nin:

    “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

    Keep Blooming, Brother!

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