Dying Man’s Daily Journal – So frustrating

Feeling good today, got in my walk yesterday. Stretched my distance a little, still not going to say how far I go and still call it exercise. But hey, even one step is better than no steps. I do take a lot more than one step, just not at a very fast pace.

I’m taking a step back from what seems to have become my main topic this last while, abuse particularly abuse of women. I just find any kind of abuse so wrong. Have you ever had something that really bothered you, really really irritated you, something that you know is just so wrong. Something that you know is there, but you can’t actually see it, but you know it is happening, you desperately want to do something about it but seemingly just can’t. Well that is the way I feel about that issue. It is wrong, it is unloving, it is cruel, and yet accepted by many. I am certainly not abandoning it, just taking a break as I seem to get very worked up inside of myself just thinking of it. Frustrating, why can’t people just see!!!!!! I think maybe I will set up a separate page or something and invite real men to comment on how they treat their ladies the jerks in the world will realize that that is just what they are jerks and what they are doing is wrong.

I have had several emailed requests for me to do a post on how a man should treat a woman, or all women. When I read that for the first time, I just sort of blew it off, thinking that is kind of silly, everyone knows that. When I think about it though I realize there are a lot of males out there in particular that obviously do not. I will get that up in the next day or two.

I am getting more back into my meditation and this morning something came to me. The Serenity Prayer is in fact a wonderful guideline for life, everyones life.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can, and The wisdom to know the difference.”

That is so right on, such a wonderful thought, if we can only learn to see it and realize it in our hearts.

Think about it, what in life is the only thing that really we can not change, Other people. Let’s face it, while it may be difficult, every thing else in life can be changed. I am not saying it would be easy but jobs can be changed, housing can be changed. When it comes right down to it, there really is nothing in our lives that can’t be changed, except other people. We can’t make other people change, we may try, even hope and pray for another to change. Ultimately we must accept that, no matter how we try, or what we do, we can’t change other people, into being the person we want them to be. For better or worse they are who they are and we must accept that, come to terms with it.

“The courage to change the things I can. Where can I make the biggest change the most important change, is within myself and for myself. I and only I am the master of my own destiny. I and only I am responsible for my life. I and only I must make the decisions and have the courage to accept responsibility for my own life. Have the courage to make changes as I see needing to be made. I think we often abdicate responsibility for our life’s as they are today. Maybe, it is more like an avoidance issue. It is easier to avoid dealing with our lives as they are today, by putting off the issues until tomorrow. Life will be so much better: when I get the new job. when we get a bigger house, when the kid’s leave home…….. What did we just do with that, avoided dealing with our lives. It is easier to dream of a better life at some point in the future than it is to have the courage to deal with it now. If we don’t deal with our issues nothing will ever change in our contentment and serenity in life. It is not outside factors that determine the quality of life that is determined only from within.

“The wisdom to know the difference”. This is so big. The wisdom to know we can not expect or even force others to change to fit our expectations. We can’t change others no matter how we try. (excluding parents raising children). To truly live a happy and contented life, the only thing we can change is ourselves. It is futile to expect another to change, not going to happen, unless they want it, and then they will change to who and what they want, not necessarily what we still want. All we can change is ourselves. That does take courage, but it can be done. The first single step takes the most courage from there it is more determination and a sense of direction as to where you want to take your life. If you don’t have a goal or a target in mind how can you know what steps to be taking to get there.

5 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – So frustrating

  1. Jennie says:

    I understand your need to take a step back Bill. Take care of yourself first and foremost.

    I do want you to know that you have made a difference. Your kind words and understanding have really touched me. I so appreciate the kindness you have shown me – a woman you have never met who lives a thousand miles away.

    You said, “Way to go, and good for you Jennie, keep that thought process going, it will get you to where you want to be.” and “I am proud of you for taking the small steps to improve your life.” You might be surprised to learn that I cried when I read that. It means so much to me. I feel like I have screwed up my life so royally that sometimes it is hard to give myself credit for what I do.

    Have you heard the Starfish story?:

    A woman was walking along a beach when she saw a man scooping up starfish off the sand and tossing them into the waves. Curious, she asked him what he was doing. He replied “When the tide goes out it leaves these starfish stranded on the beach. They will dry up and die before the tide comes back in, so I am throwing them back into the sea where they can live.”

    The woman laughed, “But this beach is miles long and there are hundreds of stranded starfish, most will die before you reach them – do you really think throwing back a few starfish is going to make a difference?”

    The man picked up a starfish and looked at it and threw it into the waves. “It makes a difference to this one” he said.


    So thank you, from this starfish.


    Hi Jennie, I thank you so very much for this kind and gratifying comment. Everyday as I am turning on the computer I say a little prayer asking for guidance in anything I say, so that it may help or encourage even one person out there. You are my answered prayer.
    I meant what I said I am proud of you, you realize there are things in your life that need to be changed and are taking the steps to do it. You are right I don’t know you personally and likely we will never meet but you are still important to me, as I am sure you are important to many others.
    You say you have, screwed up your life royally. I don’t think there are many people anywhere that don’t feel that way about at least parts of their lives. Always remember you are a different person today than you were even yesterday. You are a different person than you were when you made what ever choices it is you now regret. I am sure you did what ever it was that you felt was best for you or what you had to do. Look at any mistakes you may have made, learn from them and let them go. If you need to think of it as that is the person I was back then, but this is the person I am today. I have learned, I know what I need to do in my life and I am going to do it. You will get there, I have faith in you.
    Thank you so much for sharing the star fish story. I have never heard it before and it is wonderful. I am touched and honored by the way you have sent it to me, I thank you so much. I will be using it in a post soon.
    You keep it up, and you will get to the place you want to be in your life, the place you do deserve, a wonderful and happy, love filled place.
    I know you can do it and will do it.

  2. mspennylane says:

    Hi Bill,

    I just wanted to let you know I have been reading your blog for about a week now, I found it on a “Featured Blogs” link, and I really value your positive messages. I am 20 years old and find myself worrying about what life will hand me, which I know is completely unnatural, and am trying to change my outlook. I totally agree with the way that everyone can take control of his or her own life, and hope to live by this in my future. It is a really great thing that you are doing just to allow others to know what you are feeling.

    And Jennie, I really like that starfish story πŸ™‚

    Hello mspennylane, welcome, I thank you for the visit and the comment. I am not so sure it is unnatural to be worrying about what life holds for you. You are only 20 years old and are facing so many choices.
    Try to look forward to it with eager excitement, yeah, I know easy to say and hard to do. But you can have a wonderful future in front of you, a wonderful life. It can be scary suddenly out there on your own and suddenly making you own life choices, have confidence in yourself and what you decide and you will do fine. Decide on the life you want and then don’t settle for anything less, particularly in the relationship department. I am always here if you need to chat or vent, anything.
    I am curious, you say you came across me on a “featured blogs” link. I am not sure what that is, could you tell me, I would like to check it out.

    Good luck my friend I do hope to hear from you again.

  3. Mel says:

    I have the longform posted on the fridge–mostly because I draw from it daily:

    God grant me the serenity
    To accept the things I cannot change;
    Courage to change the things I can;
    And wisdom to know the difference.
    Living one day at a time;
    Enjoying one moment at a time;
    Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
    Taking, as He did, this sinful world
    As it is, not as I would have it;
    Trusting that He will make all things right
    If I surrender to His Will;
    That I may be reasonably happy in this life
    And supremely happy with Him
    Forever and ever in the next.

    And I REALLY like the starfish story, Jennie–thanks so much for adding to Bill’s words of wisdom for today.
    I needed to remember “matters to this one”.
    ((((((( hugs to Jennie)))))))

    And some for you as well, sir!

    Hi Mel, I thank you for sharing this. I knew there was a complete or longer version of the prayer, I had just never seen it before. It is being printed and going on the fridge.
    Hugs to you my friend.

  4. mspennylane says:

    Thanks for your reply, its great that you take the time for all of these replies. By “Featured Blogs” I mean that when you do a search for anything it shows the results normally ordered by the date of the post but at the top it shows a “featured blog” above all others, I think because it is either the most relevant or most popular according to what you searched for. I can’t remember specifically what I was searching for, I had just signed up and was probably browsing through the “personal” section or “life” section and yours was the first ever blog I clicked, and I was glad about that. Maybe you could do a search of something you know is included in your blog and you will probably see your blog listed right there at the top πŸ™‚

    I know its natural to worry about what lies ahead, but what I mean is I’m not going to worry about it to the point where I am too scared to do things for myself like you said in your post. I am definitely changing the way I think so thank you for your words and they will help me along, as well as little stories like the starfish!

    Hi mspennylane, I hope in some way my words my help in a positive way. I hope you visit often, always remember to check the comments as so often as with the starfish story there you will find wisdom beyond any I can share.
    Have a great day my friend

  5. mspennylane says:

    PS. Sorry to leave another comment, but I just tried to find your blog the same way I had when I first came across it but I can’t anymore. Perhaps they change the featured blogs, but anyway you can be proud to know that your blog is being listed amongst them.

    No problem, love to hear from you anytime. Not to worry, I am not really concerned about being a feature blog, but I appreciate the time you took to look.

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