This may sound strange but the past few days I have been thinking about my thinking, where do some of my thoughts come from. Now I am not talking about here on the blog, I believe I know that. I am talking in just every day, day to day stuff.
At times I wonder about the old brain tumor. It is there, about the size of a large walnut. It’s located on the right frontal side. This is I am told the part of the brain that we use for things like judgement, control of impulsive actions, actually quite a few things that sort of determine the person I am. Our brain is naturally contained within the confines of our skull. Being confined as such, there is no natural room for swelling or for such a thing as a tumor. Within this confined space the tumor then just squishes other parts of the brain, compressing these parts into un-natual shapes and positions. It can’t help but have some sort of affect on you.
Hey, maybe I am really a big jerk, it is just the tumor has rearranged the brain in such a way, I am able to pass myself of as a reasonably nice guy. Now isn’t that food for thought, hmm.
I am what I consider to be a deep thinker and not prone to acting impulsively but I have notice that now arising and will just have to be more aware.
Just realized something, if I write something stupid or ridiculous, I can just blame it on the tumor. lol
Stepdaughter Lynelle was here all last week and as we talked. During her visits we usually find some time to chat, about anything and everything. Now memory guy is coming through again. I can’t actually remember what it was that we were talking about but what ever it was, it got me thinking about male/female roles in life.
First off, I believe in equality in every aspect, no exceptions. OK, that is a given. But, my mind is wandering along the lines, is there or should there at least be one additional expectation of men. Maybe some of this stems from something I can remember my mother saying when I was young. You know how somethings just sort of stand out or stick in your mind, well this is one of those for me.
“Always be a man. A real man is a gentleman. A gentleman always shows due respect to others. Under no circumstances would a gentleman ever hit a woman or anyone smaller than himself. He will always stand up to protect and defend his loved ones, himself and anyone in need.”
There may have been more, that I don’t remember. I like to consider myself a gentleman. Have there been times in my life where I know I have fallen short of that definition, sadly yes. But, it is something I have tried to generally live my life by.
I know there is an equally good argument about the ladies standing up and maybe one day I will post my thoughts on that. But, today I am just talking about the men and specifically in the home, thoughts on other areas of life will likely follow.
I just can’t fathom how any male that sees himself as really being a man, “the man of the house” could use his possible greater size and strength to do anything but protect your loved ones. There is no circumstance, situation or event, as angry as you may be, that could justify violence against women and children. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS, NONE. It is time for all real men to stand up and be counted, show yourself as being a man. If anyone realizes in their hearts, changes could be make. How about starting that change today, right now.
As men, we do often possess a larger physical stature and even greater physical strength. Let’s use that in the way it was meant to be used.
I guarantee, I will never strike a woman or child.
I guarantee, I will never use my size to bully anyone, ever.
I guarantee, if we hear a noise in the middle of the night. I will be the one checking it out, baseball bat in hand.
I guarantee, if anyone says or does anything, I ever perceive as being done to intentionally hurt my loved ones. I will be in your face, immediately.
It is almost strange reading that last point. I know it to be true. The strange part is I am a very easy going relaxed kind or guy. Very little upsets or bothers me, say or do something to me and I will very likely just laugh it off. Do the very same thing to my family, different story all together.
A direct question to every male reading this. Are you a gentleman, a real man or merely an over sized jerk pretending to be a man? Give it some thought before you automatically reply.
Physical abuse to women is one of my hates. We had people living across the road for us at one stage and he used to beat up his wife. It was horrible. Many countless times I called for the police with her screaming “Help Me, He is going to Kill Me”, the police come, and she sends them away as a misunderstanding. It is horrible. She knew no different and she came to expect that thats what she deserved. I never knew this woman, I never spoke to her, except once, they were moving out, she was over there on her own with her baby. (Very premature mind you, because he threw her over the fence in a rage when she was 7 months pregnant)(another story)…. He was no where to be found, it was at least 40degress and stinking hot. I went across and asked if she would like a cold drink, or a bottle heated up for the baby etc (I was home with my baby as I had just had Montana, so I had all the stuff). Basically anything at all she needed. She needed the phone, as he was supposed to of picked her up over 3 hours ago.. As I left her, I did say to her, you don’t have to keep doing this, there is help, and she said to me, he is all I have and I love him. I’ve never seen her again, I don’t know what ever happened to her, I often wonder. I look at myself and think should I have pulled her away from there, but I always had in my mind how violent he was, and I did not want my family and children subjected to his rage. Is that gutless of me not to stand up more because of being in fear of the repercussions on my family!!!!! What do you do?
Hi Jo, what a tragic story this is. One that I fear is all to common in our society today. You speak of how the woman came to believe that beatings and all the mistreatment was what she deserved. How sad is that fact alone? She felt she deserved it!! No one, and I mean no one ever deserves to be treated in that way, or even mistreated in anyway. My heart really does ache for this poor lady, firstly obviously for the beatings and mistreatment, but also for her mindset “he is all I have and I love him” and any and all mistreatment dished out is what she deserved. I have such a hard time understanding this, or being able to come anywhere close to being able to rationalize it in my head. I know there will be many individual, personal reasons behind it, but she has chosen to settle for this sort of life. I know I am way out of my depth in talking about such things, as admittedly I just don’t understand it. As I am writing, I realize it sounds so easy, and it is easy for me to say. There are other options, no one ever has to accept or settle for such treatment. From what I read or see on TV, I know the violence is likely to just increase and I have to wonder about the safety of the child. I am going to have to do a post on this sort of thing and ask for input, to help me understand the thinking on both sides.
Jo, what more could you have done? Jo, I know you to be a courageous lady with a very big and caring heart. Fear for your own safety and that of your family is a very understandable and legitimate point. I believe you likely did all that could have been done at that time. You called the police when necessary, you out right told her she didn’t have to live that way. I sadly don’t think there is much more anyone can do. That is until the individual, in this case the lady makes up her mind that enough is enough and decides to get out.
Jo, I thank you for sharing this, it is a stark reality check for many of us.
Have a good weekend, my friend
Are you a gentleman, a real man or merely an over sized jerk pretending to be a man? Brother my truthful answer would have to be that I’m an oversized jerk pretending to be a man,
Reggie, my friend it is so nice to hear from you. It has been to long. OK, Reg lets face it I don’t really know you other than through a few messages here on the blog and a couple of emails. I feel it is likely you are being overly critical of yourself. I don’t know the circumstances or events of your past that would make you feel this way. I do know it takes a man to be able to stand up and admit what you just have. For the sake of argument lets assume it is all true. I would then pose a simple question to you, what do you intend to do about it???
Female–so I don’t get to answer the question……*sulking*
*waving at Jo* 🙂
I guess I don’t get to answer the question either, but wanted to say something about Bill as someone who has known him personally for many years now. I’ve always said that of all the people I’ve ever met, he’s probably the only person I can truly call a gentleman. And it’s more than just his impeccable manners, but is about his genuine ability to take other people’s needs and thoughts into consideration. Yep, gentleman is the perfect word to describe our dear friend Bill.
I agree with Janice having now met him. =)