Yesterday was a mixture of good news and what I suppose is some not so good news. I thank all that mentioned our dear friend Grant in their prayers. Grant had an angioplasty done with a stent being placed in his heart. The angioplasty clears a blockage on one of the arteries in the heart and the stent in put in to ensure the blocked area remains clear and open. He is doing well and we are all so grateful and thankful.
Now for the not so good news. I go for regular blood tests, the doctors monitor the levels of all sorts of things. There must be about 12 or 15 different things they check. I know it isn’t going to be good when the doctor phones wanting to see me between regular appointments. It means he has received the last results from the blood tests and feels he needs to see me, now, and can’t wait until the next regular appointment.
His receptionist phoned last Thursday and schedule an appointment for yesterday afternoon. I go in knowing he won’t be having good news but still he caught me a little by surprise. “Bill, you are a walking heart attack, just waiting to happen, all your blood test levels are way up.” I think he may have realized immediately how that may have sounded and quickly tried to calm or reassure me. “Don’t go getting all stressed or excited on me now, I brought you in so we can try to deal with it.”
Some may think his wording may be harsh or something, but I like that about Dr. C. he tells me as it is. No beating around the bush and I do appreciate that. He was glad to hear my next scheduled appointment with my cardiologist is in about 3 weeks or he would have been trying to make such an appointment asap.
Now doesn’t news like that just take the shine off of your day. Strangely the more I sit and think of it, I realize this may have been a bit of awake up call that I needed to hear. A bit of a reminder of where I am in life. I realize I have somehow over time allowed myself to become, I am not sure if complacent is the right word to use. I so see I have to some extent slipped back into my old ways of just taking life for granted. Sort of never mind what the doctors are saying, I am doing fine. I have survived 4 heart attacks and maybe I am bullet proof and defy all the odds. I know for everyone, sooner or later the odds will catch up with you.
Only, once have I ever been given any sort of a time estimate as to how much time I do have left. He was my family doctor at the time and he was very reluctant to give an estimate on my time left and really only gave in after I bullied and badgered him, It was something I really needed to know at that time. I will never forget his words. “There is really no way to tell, it could be 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, a year, maybe a year and one half or even 2 years if you are lucky.” OK, these were words I really didn’t want to hear, but again I am thankful he was upfront and honest with me. I really do want to know where things stand and how I am really doing. I do understand the doctors are merely making educated guesses, no one other than the Good Lord above knows when I will be called home. Since then no doctor has been willing to make such a guess, each just stressing there is no way to tell, keep your mind set positive and focus on a longer time period. There is an old saying, “living on borrowed time”. Is that what I am doing? I don’t know, just know, I am a greedy guy when it comes to things like this and be assured if I borrowed time, I borrowed lots of it.
It seems my body is starting to not react to certain medications in the manner in which it is supposed to. My diabetes seems to be acting up and I may soon go beyond treatment with pills to insulin. My liver is unhappy and the doctor questioned by about my alcohol consumption. I will have a beer now and again but really not all that often. I would guess, if I bought a dozen beer for just myself that after a year I would likely still have 2 or 3 left over. He really stressed zero alcohol, well that is an indulgence I can easily forgo. I tried to joke with Vi afterwards, “gee, if I quite drinking cold turkey, do you think I will have to go through withdrawal of some sort”. She just laughed and assured me, she didn’t think it would be an issue.
OK, back to the first doctor that gave me a time estimate, I have great respect for him both as a person and as a doctor but guess what, I proved him wrong. Two years if I am lucky, haa, the first week in November will be 3 years. I am going to have to have some sort of a celebration. Celebrate the fact I am alive. Would anyone like to join with me in that celebration, not just that I am alive but that you are alive on that day? Life is something we all seem to just take for granted, or at least I know I always used to. We celebrate on special occasions, when I think of it, isn’t the fact we are alive the biggest reason to celebrate there ever could be. Am I suggesting we turn everyday into a big part, of course not.I am suggesting we turn each day into a celebration within our selves, in our minds and hearts. Celebrate life each day, or at the very least take even a short moment to reflect and be grateful for it, and for the lives of our loved ones and those close to us.
Don’t take life for granted, celebrate it, enjoy it. Don’t waste any time on foolish negativity. Every second or minute wasted is time gone forever, we can never get it back. Every minute wasted is precious time gone forever. Each of us only have a limited number of those precious minutes left on this earth. I pray all would recognize that fact and then choose not to waste a single one of our precious minutes.