Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Another comparable to dying


I am feeling pretty good today other than just really drained. Hey it is summer time, all my energy seems to have taken a bit of a vacation. Here in Winnipeg we are experiencing a heat wave with high humidity. That really adds to the breathing issues. I suppose I shouldn’t complain to much now as it will be all to soon and we will be facing temperature in the -30’s and I will save my complaining until then.

Zero energy results in cheating on the blog again and reposting a portion of a previous post. I have copied it exactly as it is and I imagine my heart hasn’t leaned to spell any better than it could yesterday.

Portion of previous post:

Came across an interesting thought the other day. I am not sure I must have read this somewhere or something. I don’t remember, maybe having so much time to just think I maybe dreamed this up all by myself.

This requires a little use of your imagination. Now try to imagine this. Imagine if we could talk to an unborn baby, a baby all safely tucked away in its mothers womb. We could tell that baby about all the wonderful things that are waiting for it after its delivery into this world. We could tell the baby about the loving parents that are awaiting its arrival, of how much it will be loved by sibling, by grandparents and lots of others. All, just waiting for the baby to arrive. We could describe the wonderful world the baby will be coming into. The marvels of growing up, maturing and starting a family of its own. Oh, there are just so many wonderful things we could tell the baby about.

Now lets use our imaginations again and try to imagine what might be going through that baby’s mind. Fine, it is being promised it will be greeted by many people that will love it, care for it and nurture it. Fine, it is promised a world filled with wonderful things, but try to imagine what might be going through that little baby’s mind. All it has ever known is the safety and wet warmth of its mothers tummy, where it is nurtured and cared for. Do you think the baby might be reluctant, inspite of all the promises, to leave the comfort and safety of the only home it has ever known. Do you think, maybe that baby would be just a little scared or nervous about entering this world. From the stories I have heard of the difficulties, some ladies have in labour. It almost seems like some babies don’t enter the world to willingly. Almost like they are fighting to the end, to stay as long as they can, in the safety of that womb. But, fortunately for the human race, after about 9 months God and mother nature step in and the baby is forced into this world.

I like this thought and take comfort in it. I think our time on this earth can be compared to the time the baby is in the womb. We are comfortable here and don’t want to leave. We are reluctant, inspite of all the stories we hear of the loved ones, that will be waiting for us and all the glories we will see that are beyond our imagination. Most of us are like that difficult child birth, fighting to stay where we are for as long as we can. We fight to stay, until God steps in, and ultimately forces the situation.

I know, I fell into the reluctant catagory for a long time. I definately, can’t say I am eager for the day to arrive so I guess I still fit in the reluctant catagory. But, I am no longer reluctant in the same way, there is no fear involved. It is a reluctance to leave my loved ones behind. Knowing my reluctance is not based on fear but on missing family has proved a great sense of calm or even serenity.

15 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Another comparable to dying

  1. A.M. says:

    God bless your dear misspelling heart Bill . We’re in the same heatwave as you. It’s like living in a sauna. I hope you have relief soon.

  2. V- says:

    As with my post that you commented on earlier, my nature is to dig my heels and be pulled kicking and screaming into the next phase. I’m learning, slowly, but I am learning. It’s very disconcerting to not be in control and I think that’s the scariest part for me. Totally relinquishing control and letting God take over. As I mature I find a lot of comfort and looking back over my life. Every step I took reluctantly forward brought me to a beautiful place. If I had been allowed to stay stagnate due to my fear of the unknown, I would have missed out on such blessings. Every peak I reached, I would sit back and think “This is it. I have arrived.” but after enjoying it for a while, the Holy Spirit always nudges me onward. It is comforting for me to know that after the struggles, I always end up and a place even more wonderful than I was before. I hope I will find comfort in that when it my time get nearer. I must confess at this moment, death is a frightening concept for me, but your blog is inspiring and comforting at the same time. Maybe as a society we should quit referring to it as “death” For me that word implies finality, the end, and I don’t believe that’s what it is at all…

  3. rhosie says:

    hi Bill… its good your pretty okay….. I truly agree with you, that most of us were reluctant to move forward or to adapt some changes. We still finding hard on how to accept some changes or things happening. Partly because of fear and also we used to live in our comfort zone. Not realizing that some changes happen for a reason, that being human we cannot just stay forever in our comfort zone. I admire your strenght and courage….. your truly an inspirational…….

    God Bless you………

  4. mel says:

    I’ll kvetch about the heat and I’ll kvetch about the cold.
    And the whole while I’ll celebrate.
    I guess that makes me a fickle kvetcher, huh? 😉

    You just keep taking care of you, Bill.
    Rest when you need rest.
    But love always, eh?

    Giving thought to what was written–
    I came into this world kicking and screaming….and I’m fairly convinced I’ll leave it the same way. Though, ya know–there’s a sense of ‘play’ in that today and I’m not so convinced, for me, that’s just about reluctance. I am so much more willing than I allow myself to ‘look’.
    As one who rarely knows what’s ‘good for Mel’, I resist ‘being’ changed. It’s not the change I resist…..it’s that “I know what’s best for me” mentality I’ve battled with forEVER. (aka ‘ego’)
    I’d like to think I’ll be open handed, ready to receive instead of clenched fisted.
    I was ‘there’, once upon a time….ready and at peace with it.
    And while I’ve a great appreciation for the gift I’ve been given, it would seem the further away I get from those moments in time, the more ‘cocky’ I can get.

    Humility is something I need to keep getting doses of.
    Reminders about ‘MY’ life are good for me.
    Cuz it’s not really ‘mine’. It’s always been on loan.

    My best guess–I needed to read what’s been written in the past few days to get my attention. (it works like that for me you know)
    I find it difficult, some moments, to just let myself LOOK like it is.

    (Thanks, Bill. Gives me a whole lot to talk with the Big Guy about tonight….and a whole lotta reasons to then shush up long enough to listen!)

  5. Simonne says:

    I strongly believe that babies choose their time to come in, and their parents. Just as we chose our time to leave. Doesn’t mean we remember any of that once we’re here, hence our resistence!
    Love ya guts, Big-Banker-Guy, Angel-Dude 😉

  6. Neel says:

    So moving and true….

  7. babychaos says:

    Another great post. Nice metaphor. I’m sorry to hear the humidity is getting to you but I wish we had a bit of heat… here in Blighty we are gradually coming to terms with the fact that we are not going to have a summer. There is sun but only for half hour stretches amongst the rains, like a monsoon…

    Delighted to hear you are perkier, too.

    Take care you

    Cheers

    BC

  8. Lorri says:

    I’m sorry about the humidity, Bill, and empathize with how it affects your breathing. I hope you are feeling better, sweet friend.

    I was in CA for a few days, visiting my new babylicious granddaughter, for the first time. She is now two months old. I had a wonderful time cooing and gooing over her. My son and his family were in from Japan, also, so I got to see my 12-year old grandson too. A mom’s/grandmom’s joy, for sure! I also saw my brother, nephews and their families ..and we all had dinner together Saturday night, and had a great family reunion!!

    I am still trying to catch up on my sleep….but I am not complaining!! LOL

    Take care…Blessings!

  9. reggiehudson says:

    A very righteous statement above from Mel….read it…and re-read it. The little sis is a sis. A hard thing to come by in this world.

  10. tightbunny says:

    i am only 22 and never been told i am dying, I just can’t imagine how tough it is the first time you heard those set of words…
    i was moved and thank you for making me understand how precious life is,however tough it is at times…

  11. Hm, this might explain my internal reluctancy for change…. you are right, babies who are born scream they don’t laugh for example….. what would that world be like if we humans had that one little change…..

    I stumbled here via RuubyShooz.

    I am glad that you are feeling pretty good today and a deep thank you sharing your story.

    Take care

    SP

  12. Theo says:

    nice to find you. thank Simonne for that.

    what courage you have to share this journey of yours. i am honored.

    as to the post… i do believe that we are more ‘in’ this life than just at the moment of birth. what logic would it make to think that the soul had NO connection with this world before fleshing it out?

    i would also add, that it makes sense that we are connected with moe than this world, even as we move out of it.

    again, nice to find you.

  13. Bill Howdle says:

    A.M. thanks for stopping by and for the kind comment. I hope the weather changes soon, but the forecast says not for a while.

    V. I am glad you are able to see the highs and the lows in your life. It helps us to realize that while in a low, there is another high just around the corner. You are correct about the negative images the world death conjures up and how it seems to indicate the end. I agree it is not the end and prefer the word passing.

    rhosie, Isn’t it so true about how we resist change. It is sad at times to even know we are in a horrible situation and yet still fight change. We seem to need to cling to what it is we are used to, no matter how bad that may be

    Mel, I don’t know where you live but you should be Canadian if you are not, complaining about the weather seems to be a national pass time. I hope you don’t mind but I am going to email you directly. You raised some very interesting points I would like to hear a lot more about.

    Simonne, appreciate the comment, I would be really interested in hearing more about you thoughts on, we chose our time to leave.

    Neel, thanks for stopping by, hope you will return.

    Babychaos, it is always so nice to hear from you. You were one of the very first to comment on the blog, encouraging me to keep this thing going way back at the start, I thank you.

    Lorri, I am so glad you had a nice visit with your grand daughter and other family, I am envious. Thank you for stopping by my friend.

    Reggie, it is a righteous statement, I have reread it many times.

    Welcome, tightbunny. I am glad if you got something out of my post. Thanks for the visit and I hope you will return

    spasmicallyprefect, welcome, I thank you for stopping in and leaving a comment, I hope you will return.

    Theo welcome to also my friend. I agree we are connected to much more than just this physical world. I thank you for the visit and hope you will return.

    Thanks to all
    Bill

  14. Also loved the metaphor. As I age, I find myself contemplating my own death more often, in an attempt to overcome my anxiety about what’s next. I suppose some people would call that morbid; I don’t. I’ve never looked at it like this though – as a normal reluctancy to go somewhere unfamiliar. It’s a comfort, really, to think of it that way.

  15. Bill Howdle says:

    observantbystander, thanks for stopping by to visit and for the comment. I hope you will return. We are all some what resistant to and even afraid of change. What bigger change could we possibly have than passing from the physical to the spiritual worlds. A strong belief system helps but it is still scary.
    Again, thanks for the visit.
    Bill

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