Dying Man’s Daily Journal – My thoughts on dying


I am not feeling all that spry today, just my wonkie head and very tired.

Recently a good friend asked me to read back over some of my older posts. Now this was something I had never done. Comments I will go back and read and reread but not my actual posts. I suppose it could be said my writing is from the heart as I do my prayer routine and type what ever comes into my head. I type it and bang hit publish. Reading back like that I can really see my heart isn’t a very good speller and not so good at grammar in many cases. Ah well, what can I say it is my journal.

As I am not feeling so hot I am just going to repost something I wrote back in I think it was October.

“The more I think of it and read about dying, the more I realize and the clearer it becomes in my head. One of the main feeling we or at least I usually have for the dying is one of sympathy or pity. Oh, poor Bill, he is dying, how tragic.

Now let me make my thoughts on this very clear. Sympathy and pity have NO PLACE in my world. Sadness, OK. Sadness, only because we will be parted temporarily and will naturally miss each other.

With my memory these days I am never sure if I read this somewhere or if this is my own thought. I just know this helped me tremendously when my mother passed. I loved my mother dearly and still do and always will. I hope I can find the right words to really express what I am trying to say.

Use your imagination and try to picture this scenario. By some chance your loved one get a chance to go on a fantastic voyage, say a year long cruise around the world. You know your loved one would have a fantastic time, the time of their lives. Lets further suppose, the trip has already been booked and nothing short of a miracle will stop them form going. How would you react?

Would you be there, being lovingly supportive in their preparations for the voyage. Hoping and praying only for their happiness and well being. It is a given that you will miss them. You are comforted knowing you will see them again and out of love, make the choise to put their well being ahead of our own. I mean it would be so unfair to hope or think they should miss out on such an opportunity just because we will miss them. We joyously help in their preparations spending quality, happy time before they leave. Tearful good byes are said hugs are exchanged and off they go.

Or, Even though you know the trip is booked and that they will have a wonderful time, do you react differently. Even selfishly, out of our own fear of missing them and being lonely, we feel miserable. We cry and maybe even try to talk them into canceling the trip, “you can’t go I will miss you to much”.

Through our own selfishness we want to deny them the trip the joy, the happiness that would come with it. They are leaving anyway, but we have turned what could have been a joyous farewell into a time of personal sorrow for ourselves. Could this even dampen or harden the departure of the loved one as they will be leaving, possibly worrying about how we will make out without them? I don’t know.

I used these thoughts on the passing of my dearly loved mother. I wished her joy and happiness until we meet again. Did that remove all the sadness no, but it definately helped. With her passing my mother went on a wonderful voyage and I do miss her but I know I will be seeing her again

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12 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – My thoughts on dying

  1. moonbeammcqueen says:

    What a wonderful man you are, and how lucky you are to have Vi. I wish you peace and as much happiness as you can squeeze out of each day. I’m praying for you, Bill.

  2. V- says:

    What a beautiful analogy (i’m not a speller either) Thanks so much for reposting it. I hope that your energy returns soon. I would imagine it’s a struggle to stay in good spirits when your body is tired. You and Vi are in my prayers and thoughts.

  3. Estefanía says:

    Thanks, Bill, once again.

    I would like to bring you a quote you probably have heard already. It gives as much hope as this entry brought us:

    JUST ANOTHER PATH

    Pippin: I didn’t think it would end this way.
    Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path… One that we all must take.
    [Pippin listens and watches Gandalf curiously, as he continues. The battle around seems to quiet down]
    Gandalf: The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all change to silver glass…
    [a light comes into Pippin’s face, as a small smile comes into his eyes, as Gandalf looks out into the distance]
    Gandalf: …And then you see it.
    Pippin: What? Gandalf?… See what?
    Gandalf: White shores… and beyond. The far green country under a swift sunrise.
    [they both smile as they look at each other]
    Pippin: Well, that isn’t so bad.
    Gandalf: [softly] No… No it isn’t.

    J.R.R. Tolkien – The Return of the King
    (as adapted by Philippa Boyens and Peter Jackson for the motion picture)

  4. jel says:

    sorry your not feeling well 😕

  5. reggiehudson says:

    Death unlike birth is a voyage we will all make alone. Regardless of any preparations or reservations that one has made this is a voyage that we face with the bare naked truth of the fact………our death is based upon how we viewed our life. If our life was viewed as a marvelous gift of discovery then life never ceases and throughout eternity we discover the goodness of God. If we viewed our life as a drudgery, that no one would even possibly hope for, then our death will fulfill all of our expectations exponentially. “To whom much is given , much is required”. I don’t know about you but this marvelous thing God has given us called LIFE is well beyond the scope of any possible words that I could come up with.
    ” I have given you life and I have given it to you abundantly”J.C.

  6. Simonne says:

    Bill, this is lovely. And the wonderful difference between the long voyage and crossing over is that when you cross over you can communicate with your loved ones anyway – especially those who practice opening up their energies 🙂
    Much love to you Angel-Man
    x

  7. Hi Bill,

    I like your idea on this. It’s comforting.

  8. Jayleigh says:

    Bill, what an amazing attitude. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. They give me something to really think about and chew on. God Bless!

  9. babychaos says:

    I think that’s a wonderful thing to say, pretty much exactly what I believe too – even if I don’t always have the strength to live up to my beliefs but then… how many of us do!

    Thanks for posting that and I really hope your wonky head is on straight tomorrow!

    Take care you

    lots of love

    BC

  10. Bill Howdle says:

    Dear moonbeammequeen, I thank you for the nice comment, I am indeed lucky to have Vi.
    V. Thank you for the visit and nice wishes. We are currently having a heat wave, which I am sure is much of what seems to be sapping my energy. I seem to just spend more time hiding out in the coolness of our basement.
    Estefania. Thank you for sharing this. Isn’t it amazing how we can hear basically the same message for so many places and yet we still worry or even doubt. Messages such as this always help to reassure me in some way.
    Hey there Reggie, that is a very interesting and thought provoking comment. I have always found that life in general usually lives up to my expectations and at times down to my expectations. So many times in the past I have been one of those that view my life as drudgery, a life I would wish on no one else. It is only now I can look back and see my life for what it was at that time, an opportunity to grow. Only now can I see each of those growth opportunities help form me into the person I am today, for that I am grateful.
    Simonne, I really like your ideas and thoughts. I do believe it is possible to communicate with those that have passed over or maybe that they can communicate with us. I wish I could clear my heart or my mind, what ever it is that is blocking any communication so I could receive and recognize what it is I am receiving.
    Hi Martha, I am glad you find the thoughts to be of a comfort. I am not sure how well I worded it but I do believe the comparable to the trip is at least along the right lines.

  11. Tom Chan says:

    Hi, Bill:

    We are in Missouri. This is a beautiful part of God’s creation here.

    I hard that it’s rather hot in Winnipeg.

    How are you doing?

    How do you find reading Purpose-Driven Life?

    I am almost finished with Dutch Sheets’ Intercessory Prayer. It’s such an annointed book on the power of prayer… I mean real power, that of God Almighty.

    Been praying for you to be God’s beloved miracle.

    When the incence of the prayers of the faithful fills the bowl in heaven, it will tip and pour out healing rain upon you.

    So, all who are reading this, let’s all committ to pray daily for Bill’s healing.

    God bless,

    Tom

  12. Lorri says:

    What an excellent analogy, Bill.

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