Dying Man’s Daily Journal – funerals

Had a real lazy day yesterday, just lounged around and really did nothing. Hey that is not far off my normal day. I am, it seems constantly going for various blood tests etc.. Results all to to my doctor and usually I never get any results until my next appointment. Yesterday his office phoned, he needs to see me, oh oh, that can’t be a good thing. Will phone today and set up an appointment.

I wonder how much time most people spend thinking about funerals. Very little, if even any I would imagine. Sadly, at a few times in our lives we attend one, when a loved one passes over. As it rightfully should be, most of our thoughts are with our grieving and sorrow. Paying our respects and saying final good byes. I have luckily had to attend very few funerals in my life time, but have on occasion viewed them as events that must be endure, and I just want them over with. Grief is such an individual thing, for me, at first I just want to be left alone. Let me think on this, digest this new development and then I will be ready to talk.

I have heard it so many times funerals are the living and not actually for the deceased loved one. I absolutely agree with this and have said many times it is so much harder on the loved ones left behind. I am all for anything that will help those left behind. The funeral may be a good place to let emotions out, to find some degree of closure. I don’t know how all that psychological stuff works, but what ever it takes is a good thing.

There is an issue I have be wrestling with in my mind of late. I know this is my human mind, my physical mind grappling with issues beyond my understanding, while at this physical level. I just can’t fully understand or appreciate the beauty and purity of the love contained with in the spiritual world.

Example, I don’t know how it all works but I believe after you have passed over, you are still able to look back here into this physical world and even be here in a spiritual form to comfort loved ones. In a spiritual form you could attend your own funeral or at least watch from above.

I know when in spirit form we will be of pure love and goodness, absolutely no negativity. My human mind just can’t grasp that concept. I know this in not correct but in my mind I keep thinking even while in Heaven, if you looked down say at your own funeral and suppose not one came. Wouldn’t you be just a little disappointed, now I know this is wrong even as I say it. Just one of my human thoughts and weaknesses.

I wonder about my own funeral, when that time comes. Over my banking career, I have moved many times from location to location and have made friends everywhere I went. But all seemed to be short term friendships, I seemed to move on to a new group of friends with each move. When my time comes it will be interesting to see who attends.

13 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – funerals

  1. pradapixie says:

    I wonder if you’ll be able to see your blog friends being upset around the world at their lose of you. Cause I think going to your funeral will be out of the question.

    Which I suppose goes back to your messages that you’ve set up to tell us. What would be good perhaps is t be able to tell Vi what we thought of you. Cause as you say your family will want as much love giving to them as you pour out, to them and to us right now

  2. Catherine says:

    this all makes me feel sad

  3. If I have the advance notice then you’ll be able to count me in Bill.


  4. Lisa says:

    I think (and have long thought) that one’s soul does hover over the funeral, not quite ready to leave loved ones behind and also to be a comforting presence in the midst of the grieving.

  5. Simonne says:

    Very thought provoking Bill!
    Most people who cross over are still very close at the time of the funeral and are usualy there. A funeral is actually for them as much for the living because it is through prayer and love that the deceased person can make their full transition. You are right in that we see through eyes of love when we cross, although we do take some of our baggage with us, so you will understand why whoever is not there didn’t come and feel empathy for them that they found it too difficult.
    Much love,

  6. Irene says:

    Dear Bill,

    I’ve never been good at funerals…I’ve cried when I didn’t even know the person!!! I sure don’t want my funeral to be sad. I want lots of food there and lots of music and dancing. It better include a lot of laughing and singing too!! The dying is the easy part, it’s the living that makes the difference. And looking back, I think there are a lot of times to celebrate and laugh about–even the bad times (and there were plenty of them, too.) Funerals are just a way for the living to say good-bye to the “pottery” of someone’s life. It will make little difference if anyone attends my funeral because I hope I’ll be “home” already.

    Rest assured that you’ll be missed by tons of people and that the lessons you have taught us all will live on and on–therefore, you’ll never die!!

    Take care of yourself. Peace to you, Wiseman.

  7. Tom says:

    Hi, Bill:

    This is Tom.

    It’s inevitable and normal to think of one’s funeral… some time in life.

    I have heard it said more than once in numerous way that funeral-thoughts may be instructive in that they help us focus upon what is truly dear to one’s heart and soul.

    Seldom does one want to be remembered for what one has done in life. Rather, I want to be remember for who I was in life.

    I want to be remembered as a person who lived a life of integrity, a life of love and grace, a life of faithfulness to my calling in life as a husband to my wife and a dad to my children. Most importantly enough, I want to be acknowledged by my Creator-King, not by man, that I have been a faithful servant in this corrupt world and this corruptible life.

    Funeral thoughts force me to seriously consider what counts , may not count; but what does not count, may indeed count.

    As you and I have discussed earlier, Bill, breathing my last is a crossing over the Great Divide from this side of eternity to the next which will never end. A funeral is man’s way of providing our living loved ones to mourn, grief, bid good-bye, and to remember… my as well as their own mortality.

    In this sense, funeral thoughts are instructive as a truth-seeking guidance system in getting our lives in order and to be at peace with the eventuality, but to be joyously prsiaseful when we wake up with a new lease on life to do His will every morning.

    Hope to visit with you tomorrow.

    God’s comforting presence,


  8. Rachel says:

    Dear Bill
    it’s kind of a depressing topic- I have only been to my great-grandma’s funeral, and yeah, I cried! though not as much as at the viewing, when I bawled!
    but on what you were saying, I think that the soul of the person is present someway at the funeral to help comfort those left behind.
    funerals are for those left behind, but I have always thought of them also for the person who died- I’m not sure why. I have a feeling that the Orthodox church may also think this, but dont quote me, I’d have to do a lot more reading about it first.
    same with Catholic, at Grannan’s funeral, the priest censes and prays over the deceased, and we (both Orthodox and Catholic) still pray for the departed too, because we believe they are also praying for us 🙂

    I’d come to your funeral, but being on the other side of the world makes it a bit awkward…maybe we should have a “blogland” funeral- is that possible?

    God Bless
    love Rachel xoxo

  9. Ed Darrell says:

    My aunt had a great idea: For after the funeral (ashes spread, in that case), she invited a few hundred close friends to a local convention center for refreshments — the best champagne, the best wine, the best liquor, and exquisite hors d’oeurves. It cheered a lot of people who remembered her great sense of humor, and her love for them.

  10. ceeque says:

    Hi Bill. Two days after my fave Aunt passed over she told us, thru` a medium, she would see my daughter and myself at the funeral! The thing is, we did`nt ask the medium anything at all about my Aunt…it was simply announced to us both at a church…and it was lovely!! Yes, I do believe that spirits are with us at these times. I believe they would want to be to aid in giving us a little comfort…just as we would too?

  11. mel says:

    Dunno if I’ll be attending my own funeral. (I’ve requested there not to be one……..though one cannot control that, eh?)
    I’m thinkin’ I’ll be all engrossed in the new adventures in front of me–cuz I so love adventures.

    *sending positive, peacefilled thoughts*
    Let us know how the visit with the doc goes?

  12. Vicky says:

    Bill.. Those that are truly important will be there even if it is just in spirit .. as some may not be able to be there physically.

    Tom has said it all. Thank you for putting it so well Tom. Couldn’t have done it any better myself. I find words difficult and I often cannot explain exactly what I am trying to say.

    Love and Light to all the blog supporters and friends.

  13. LorriM says:

    I have a written set of instructions that includes family members only be in attendance, at my viewing and burial. It is my preference that only my children (and their spouses), grandchildren, any great-grandchildren, my brother, nephews and niece attend (depending, of course on their location).

    I won’t look down out of curiosity, as I have set the attendance tone. But, that is my choice, and might not apply for others.

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