Dying Man’s Daily Journal – A Dying Person’s Gift of Love.


Special thank you, to my cousin Carol. I had intended to thank you yesterday but memory guy here forgot. I received the 2nd. letter you spoke of but still no sign of the first. I will continue watching the mail. Thanks Carol.

I today read such a touching message from my good blog friend Jo Hart. Such a sad and tragic story of the pending passing of her cousin and the struggles of his family. My prayers and my heart go out to you all.

Jo, you can never really know how much I wish there was something I could do or say to ease the pain being felt by all. I have said many times here I am not a doctor, a member of the clergy nor do I have any training in any form of grief counseling. I have no qualifications what so ever other than my own personal first hand experiences as I have been told I am dying. The dying process, (acceptance or denial) and the grieving process are all such individual and personal issues. No two people will ever deal with it in exactly the same way. I can share my way, which I feel is the right way, for me. What I have decided is the right way for me may not be anywhere even close to the right way for anyone else.

What is my way? With my faith strongly in place, I have no fear of what lies ahead for me. OK, I admit I am a little nervous about the physical process of dying. They tell me I have a high pain tolerance level but inside I know I am a wimp that just wants it to be a natural but pain free experience. The fact of the matter is, I have the easy part of this whole experience. I know I will have move on to such a more wonderful place, while my family and friends are left behind. Not only are they left behind but they are left facing the pain and grief of their loss. So, I do have the easier part, they have the much more difficult part in this whole experience.

I love my family, my friends and blogging family. With this love in my heart, how can I not do anything and everything I can to help them. There will come a time when I am no longer physically here and able to help them. But, what I can do is try to help them prepare for the trying time that lies ahead. All through life, if someone is preparing for a very difficult challenge, would we not do everything we can to help them prepare to meet that challenge. Really, should this be so much different? This could be one of their most difficult challenges so how could I not want to help in any way I can.

It is my hope, my prayer that by really opening up to them, by allowing all to see I am “OK” with this, it will ease worry levels now and I hope provide a level of comfort later. Through this if I can ease their burden even a little, it is worth it.
While I do not fear my actual passing, there is still an element of fear or maybe worry. How will my family deal with all of this? Will they be alright without me? Naturally, I know they will be just fine as all are good strong people, but that little bit of worry still lingers. I suppose knowing they are as prepared as you can ever be in a situation like this, does lessen that worry a little.

I suppose there is another factor also. I hope to leave all with good and pleasant memories of me. Me as I am, and not of some old grouch that made everyone’s lives miserable at the end.

I can only hope that my last acts in this physical world will be gifts of love to my family and friends.

15 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – A Dying Person’s Gift of Love.

  1. awoof says:

    I commend you for your courage in all of this, even though I do not have enough words to really put what I feel into writing. God bless you as you live the rest of your lovely life for him.

  2. ceeque says:

    amen to awoof`s comment above..You display and always have done, such a great “commonsense” attitude to your passing and I feel sure this is thru` one thing ~ Faith. Your faith gives you strength to love and reach out to others in a most useful way to them.
    I think your last sentence says it all really, I just hope it is a long time coming! Strength and Love Bill!

  3. justordinary says:

    I believe you are a very courageous man Bill…I wonder how many others wouldn’t be coming apart at the seams if they were faced with death the way you have been?

    It isn’t what you take with you when you go…it is what you leave behind.

    May the strength and courage you have now stay with you in this journey Bill. God Bless you!

  4. Hi Bill, what a wonderful post! It amazes me how you take all this, and still try to comfort others.

    I just last night thought about dying. And since I found my Saviour I am not afraid of thereafter, but I am very afraid of the way we have to go ( physical pain, ect) and of course I think about my son yes he is 23 now, but still at home and to young to lose me. This is was worries me the most!

    Thanks again for your post, and may our Father in Heaven keep you a long time around so we can learn more from you!

    Blessings
    Andrea

  5. Jo Hart says:

    Thankyou Bill, I so wish I could put your beliefs over to my cousin so as he can find some peace. You are so right about what we leave behind as a gift of love. That is what scares me for this family as at the moment all there is is a household of anger. My uncle and my mum are up there with them now, trying to organize some councilling for the children and trying to put some peace into the household by making the few daily grinding chores a little easier.

    I pray like yourself that he can open up and let the fear go, knowing he is going to a beautiful new journey, where our lost loved ones are, and a home of no pain or sorrow.

    I have had the phone call today from mum to go to a book store and see if I can get a book on helping kids deal with the death of a loved one. Does anyone have any suggestions on books they know about. Would be really interested if they do.

    This is a family that we have to help, without them thinking we are helping…. Does that make sense,

    Bill I hope you don’t mind, but I am praying so much for Terry to be dealing with it, that I have borrowed your angels. I have prayed that the angels that have blessed you and made you the wonderful person you are, temporarily (and only temporarliy) visit Terry to help him through this difficult time. Its just a visit I have asked, so I promise they will be back. I pray they can enter his dreams and but some calm through his thoughts.

    Bless you Bill, and Bless your angels. I’m not quite sure if I can ask for them, but I have tried.

    Jo

  6. Irene says:

    Dear Jo Hart,
    I, for one, will pray too. Calling all angels! Calling all angels! I don’t think it’s wrong to borrow Bill’s temporarily. The household may feel like it’s filled with anger, but it’s not–it’s filled with fear! It’s just comes out as looking and sounding like anger. I hope Terry can soon see that if he can look fear straight in the eye and say that it will not conquer him, then he can create a new life with the time that he has left. Prayers and peace to you and the whole family.

    Bill, what a difficult situation for the family! Let’s all of us surround this family in crisis with our thoughts and prayers.

    Irene

  7. hudds53 says:

    Dear Jo
    I certainly don’t mind you borrowing my Angels, in fact I have prayed and asked God to provide is comfort, guidance, love. support and to send all the Angels to surround your family. Your cousin, his wife, children and your whole family is surrounded by millions of them.

    Jo, one valuable resource on the internet may be hospicenet.org
    In their site you can find very helpful information on how to deal with the death of a loved one. In that site are links to helping children deal with death of a parent. I will try to find the names of books that may help.

    I ask any and all that may read this, please lets fill our hearts with love and prayers for Jo’s family.

    Jo I will be contacting you directly by email.
    Bill

  8. Mel says:

    Jo–
    For teenagers–“Straight Talk About Death For Teenagers: How to cope with losing someone you love”; “How It Feels When A Parent Dies”; “The Fall of Freddie The Leaf”; and “When Someone Special Dies”.
    For smaller kiddos–“I Miss You”; “Olivers Ocean” and “Sad Isn’t Bad”.

    (((((((((((((Jo))))))))))))))))))))

    Sending warm, peacefilled thoughts.

    Bill–You just keep saying what’s true for you and know how blessed I’m feeling that you’re passing it on.
    For me this is about living every moment I’m graced to be given, period.
    I don’t want to delude myself into believing that I’m somehow not eligible to be ‘called home’ tomorrow.
    Coming here keeps me grounded in how very, VERY special every day is.

    *sending on some peacefilled thoughts for you and Vi as well*

  9. Mel says:

    P.S. Bill–I’m honoured that you’d ask to place me on your list of reads. (I confess I’m computer illiterate and don’t have a clue on that computery stuff.) If you visit–that’s great! You’re more than welcomed!!
    But truly, I’m feeling priviledged that I get to come here and be reminded of the ‘good stuff’.

    Sleep with Angels, Bill!

  10. Jo Hart says:

    Hello Bill,

    Thankyou so much for all of your love and support. Also a great thanks to Mel and Irene for this kind words and advice.

    I went to the book shop yesterday and couldn’t find a book at all. Now I have some titles that will help. Thank you Mel.

    How wonderful is this world, full of strangers yet so willing to help. I thank you all.

    Remember, strangers are only friends you are yet to say hello to.

    Thankyou one and all.

    Angel blessings to you.

    Jo

  11. […] you read Bill’s March 10 post, the last sentence, this post could also be entitled:  “See How Fast Prayers Get […]

  12. kuntrygurl says:

    You are the most courageous man I know and even though we have not physically met, you and your words have left a lasting impression on me. I love reading your words of wisdom and I am always left with something to think about and ponder over.

    Thank you for all you have contributed to me and to everyone around you. You have made a difference.

    Also, thank you for your support and encouragement you have left on my blog.

    ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

  13. Irene says:

    Hi Bill!

    Sunday night and the pressure to “perform” again tomorrow is building. I’ve spent lots of time on the weekend getting ready, but the more I prepare, the less I feel organized for the up-coming challenges. Could you put in a little prayer for me tonight?

    Hope your weekend was a good one and that you were able to enjoy the sunshine. No one really understands spring like us prairie folk, don’t you think?

    Praying for you and for the whole blog family…Peace always, Wiseman.

    Irene

  14. nicolasa says:

    thanks for the kind and thoughtful words about my blog. i commend a strong spirit such as yours…stay strong.

    n

  15. babychaos says:

    Cracking post. There’s not much more I can say!

    Cheers

    BC

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