Special thank you, to my cousin Carol. I had intended to thank you yesterday but memory guy here forgot. I received the 2nd. letter you spoke of but still no sign of the first. I will continue watching the mail. Thanks Carol.
I today read such a touching message from my good blog friend Jo Hart. Such a sad and tragic story of the pending passing of her cousin and the struggles of his family. My prayers and my heart go out to you all.
Jo, you can never really know how much I wish there was something I could do or say to ease the pain being felt by all. I have said many times here I am not a doctor, a member of the clergy nor do I have any training in any form of grief counseling. I have no qualifications what so ever other than my own personal first hand experiences as I have been told I am dying. The dying process, (acceptance or denial) and the grieving process are all such individual and personal issues. No two people will ever deal with it in exactly the same way. I can share my way, which I feel is the right way, for me. What I have decided is the right way for me may not be anywhere even close to the right way for anyone else.
What is my way? With my faith strongly in place, I have no fear of what lies ahead for me. OK, I admit I am a little nervous about the physical process of dying. They tell me I have a high pain tolerance level but inside I know I am a wimp that just wants it to be a natural but pain free experience. The fact of the matter is, I have the easy part of this whole experience. I know I will have move on to such a more wonderful place, while my family and friends are left behind. Not only are they left behind but they are left facing the pain and grief of their loss. So, I do have the easier part, they have the much more difficult part in this whole experience.
I love my family, my friends and blogging family. With this love in my heart, how can I not do anything and everything I can to help them. There will come a time when I am no longer physically here and able to help them. But, what I can do is try to help them prepare for the trying time that lies ahead. All through life, if someone is preparing for a very difficult challenge, would we not do everything we can to help them prepare to meet that challenge. Really, should this be so much different? This could be one of their most difficult challenges so how could I not want to help in any way I can.
It is my hope, my prayer that by really opening up to them, by allowing all to see I am “OK” with this, it will ease worry levels now and I hope provide a level of comfort later. Through this if I can ease their burden even a little, it is worth it.
While I do not fear my actual passing, there is still an element of fear or maybe worry. How will my family deal with all of this? Will they be alright without me? Naturally, I know they will be just fine as all are good strong people, but that little bit of worry still lingers. I suppose knowing they are as prepared as you can ever be in a situation like this, does lessen that worry a little.
I suppose there is another factor also. I hope to leave all with good and pleasant memories of me. Me as I am, and not of some old grouch that made everyone’s lives miserable at the end.
I can only hope that my last acts in this physical world will be gifts of love to my family and friends.