Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Hospital

I have pretty much a standard joke everytime I am hospitalized. I suppose it is really just more a comment intended to be funny. When anyone asks how I am, I reply, I am fine I just had to check out the pretty nurses. Well last night I checked out the pretty nurses again. But this time under much more difficult circumstances.

I have always said I think it is much harder on the family than it is on a patient when in the hospital. Well, I got first hand experience at that last night. Vi was taken by ambulance to the hospital. I have been taken to the hospital dozens of times. Even on the occasions when I was having a heart attack, not for one second did I find it as troubling or worrysome as it was last night. Vi is now back at home and doing much better, but oh, what an experience. It brought back memories of the feelings of worry and helplessness I felt when my daughters were hopsitalized. I so wished it could have been me laying on the hospital bed instead of them.

Vi is a little bundle of energy always full speed ahead, nothing can stop her and very few things can even slow her down. She hasn’t been feeling well for the past couple of days, but in her typical style that didn’t slow her down. Yesterday she took her mother shopping a regular event. She came home early, saying she had to quit part way through their list of errands, she just wasn’t feeling well. For Vi to do that you KNOW she is REALLY not feeling well.

From here on it became almost like a situation normal for Vi and I, but with a complete role reversal. She had felt so poorly when dropping off her mother, she had gone into her mothers house just to lie down for a few minutes. Nellie has her own blood pressure maching as I do. Vi’s blood pressure 201/99 very high. To home she comes, upset stomach, head ache and very tired. I suggest hospital, Vi: NO. She thinks a nap will be enough to get her going again. Naps a couple of hours and wakes feeling worse. Now upset stomach, headache, jaw aching, left hand numb and can’t get a deep breath, hospital? NO!! Did phone health links a phone line that lets you speak directly to a nurse, who will offer suggestions. Suggestion call 911 immediately. Vi: “I suppose I should go to the hospital, but I will drive myself”. Bill: “not going to happen and to late already called 911”. From here everything seemed to switch to slow motion.

I know the ambulance was here within minutes but it felt like hours. At the hospital Vi is taken into emergency and I am told to sit in the waiting room until after the doctor has seen her will likely be 15-20 minutes. OK, I know the routine, I have done this dozens of times but always as the patient. I wait, for what felt like an hour long, 20 minutes and want in. The waiting room is separated from the emergency room by a large secuity door which can only be opened from the inside. Normally, you just speak to the admitting nurse through a window and she lets you in. She is busy with an incoming patient and there are 3 more in line waiting to see her. I am worried and becoming impatient. The security door has been opening on and off as patients and staff come and go. OK, I will just wait until it opens next time and in I am going. My “unauthorized entrance” plan worked well for about my first 15 steps into the room. I was greeted by a nurse who I am sure is very nice but can also be quite stern. The doctor hadn’t finished with Vi as yet and I would have to remain in the waiting room. No, she didn’t have any information and wouldn’t until the doctor was finished. That exact scenario repeated itself 3 times and by now I have been waiting 55 minutes and no one has told me a thing.

OK, enough is enough, next time that door opens I am going in and will not get kicked out until I at least get some information. The door open and jackpot the nurse wasn’t at the desk. In I went trying to look like I “belonged” or at least knew where I was going, but I didn’ know where I was going. I have actually been in that ER several times but then always flat on my back on a stretcher and really hadn’t realized how big the place is. Anyway I found her and was greatly relieved to see she was doing much better. We spent the next 2 hours just waiting for the results of different blood tests. All we knew was the doctors didn’t think she had a heart attack but that the problem may be heart related. The waiting the not knowing, man that is tough. For me, it is so much easier being the patient. As the family you have this terrible worry and great feeling of helplessness.

End result, Vi is home and feeling better. The doctors feel it may be stress related. I wonder wonder what or WHO could be causing her stress.