Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Hospital

I have pretty much a standard joke everytime I am hospitalized. I suppose it is really just more a comment intended to be funny. When anyone asks how I am, I reply, I am fine I just had to check out the pretty nurses. Well last night I checked out the pretty nurses again. But this time under much more difficult circumstances.

I have always said I think it is much harder on the family than it is on a patient when in the hospital. Well, I got first hand experience at that last night. Vi was taken by ambulance to the hospital. I have been taken to the hospital dozens of times. Even on the occasions when I was having a heart attack, not for one second did I find it as troubling or worrysome as it was last night. Vi is now back at home and doing much better, but oh, what an experience. It brought back memories of the feelings of worry and helplessness I felt when my daughters were hopsitalized. I so wished it could have been me laying on the hospital bed instead of them.

Vi is a little bundle of energy always full speed ahead, nothing can stop her and very few things can even slow her down. She hasn’t been feeling well for the past couple of days, but in her typical style that didn’t slow her down. Yesterday she took her mother shopping a regular event. She came home early, saying she had to quit part way through their list of errands, she just wasn’t feeling well. For Vi to do that you KNOW she is REALLY not feeling well.

From here on it became almost like a situation normal for Vi and I, but with a complete role reversal. She had felt so poorly when dropping off her mother, she had gone into her mothers house just to lie down for a few minutes. Nellie has her own blood pressure maching as I do. Vi’s blood pressure 201/99 very high. To home she comes, upset stomach, head ache and very tired. I suggest hospital, Vi: NO. She thinks a nap will be enough to get her going again. Naps a couple of hours and wakes feeling worse. Now upset stomach, headache, jaw aching, left hand numb and can’t get a deep breath, hospital? NO!! Did phone health links a phone line that lets you speak directly to a nurse, who will offer suggestions. Suggestion call 911 immediately. Vi: “I suppose I should go to the hospital, but I will drive myself”. Bill: “not going to happen and to late already called 911”. From here everything seemed to switch to slow motion.

I know the ambulance was here within minutes but it felt like hours. At the hospital Vi is taken into emergency and I am told to sit in the waiting room until after the doctor has seen her will likely be 15-20 minutes. OK, I know the routine, I have done this dozens of times but always as the patient. I wait, for what felt like an hour long, 20 minutes and want in. The waiting room is separated from the emergency room by a large secuity door which can only be opened from the inside. Normally, you just speak to the admitting nurse through a window and she lets you in. She is busy with an incoming patient and there are 3 more in line waiting to see her. I am worried and becoming impatient. The security door has been opening on and off as patients and staff come and go. OK, I will just wait until it opens next time and in I am going. My “unauthorized entrance” plan worked well for about my first 15 steps into the room. I was greeted by a nurse who I am sure is very nice but can also be quite stern. The doctor hadn’t finished with Vi as yet and I would have to remain in the waiting room. No, she didn’t have any information and wouldn’t until the doctor was finished. That exact scenario repeated itself 3 times and by now I have been waiting 55 minutes and no one has told me a thing.

OK, enough is enough, next time that door opens I am going in and will not get kicked out until I at least get some information. The door open and jackpot the nurse wasn’t at the desk. In I went trying to look like I “belonged” or at least knew where I was going, but I didn’ know where I was going. I have actually been in that ER several times but then always flat on my back on a stretcher and really hadn’t realized how big the place is. Anyway I found her and was greatly relieved to see she was doing much better. We spent the next 2 hours just waiting for the results of different blood tests. All we knew was the doctors didn’t think she had a heart attack but that the problem may be heart related. The waiting the not knowing, man that is tough. For me, it is so much easier being the patient. As the family you have this terrible worry and great feeling of helplessness.

End result, Vi is home and feeling better. The doctors feel it may be stress related. I wonder wonder what or WHO could be causing her stress.

12 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Hospital

  1. babychaos says:

    Man that’s grim. BC prayers coming both your ways… Anything else I try to say sounds trite when I write it out. However, since one of my nicknames was Captain Worrypants (don’t go there) I will say this…

    Don’t beat yourself up. Both you and Vi should try not to stress out because it won’t help, it will just waste energy… all you can do, either of you, is value the life you have and take it as it comes.

    So easy to say, so hard to do, right? 😉

    Take care.



  2. Christopher Gay says:

    HEY there you….. Well stop checking out nurses. LOL inside joke I am sure that you get it 🙂 Well if you wanted to check some out I could have sent Mary Anne or Maria too visit.. I am having soo much trouble uploading the very cute card we made you. GRRR…. Well I hope that you are feeling better so you can be at home for the holiday season. We got snow, ice, and all that fun stuff for past two days. People in NM act like it is the end of the world. More people in the grocery store than mormons in Utah. 🙂 Do you not waste your energy, save strenth for unwrapping all those gifts . I have the flu but promise to write back tomorrow. wanted to check in on my new friend in Canada and make sure all is well. Tell your daughters just how lucky they are to have an awesome father. I am sure they know but you feel gloomy so need an ego trip and boost. lol


  3. Vicky says:

    Dearest Bill and Vi……. I am so glad all is well (For Now !!) That means please Vi.. also take it easy. We love you and wish we could be there to help in any way. Our prayers are with you both. Speedy recovery. Love and Light Vicky

  4. Vicky says:

    To all those wonderful people out there that are supporting and sharing in this blog, I send you greetings and trust that God will be with you all over this Christmas Season. May 2007 be good to you all. I ask for Happiness, Health and Prosperity to you all and send this Christmas Blessing/Instruction for Life : Love and Light, Vicky

    I N S T R U C T I O N S F O R L I F E

    Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
    Follow the three R’s :
    Respect for self,
    Respect for others and
    Responsibility for all your actions.
    Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
    When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
    Spend some time alone every day.
    Open arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
    Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
    Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
    A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
    In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
    Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
    Be gentle with the earth.
    Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
    Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
    Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
    Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

  5. Mary says:

    Hi, gosh I’m so sorry about Vi’s hospital visit. Hopefully it was just stress. My prayers are with both of u & your family. May God be with u during this Christmas season & always. Respectectfully, Mary

  6. Bill, I’m glad Vi is home and feeling better. That blood pressure would’ve compelled me to drag her kicking and screaming to the hospital. I’m glad you called 911! Hopefully it’s something simple to deal with. Hugs to Vi.

  7. Moe says:

    I’m also glad you called 911. That most have been very hard to have your wife be the one in the hospital. When I was little I spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital — I was sick a lot — and it’s odd because it’s so much harder now for me to deal with someone else in the hospital than it was for me to be the one, even though I was so young. It can just make you feel so helpless.

    How is Vi doing today?

    Take care,

  8. Hope your having a wonderful day. Glad to hear that Vi is feeling better, or at least lying bout it better. LOL. Joke. I wish you and your family the best at Christmas and the New Year. I put in the mail a Christmas card, little late it will be but hey its the thought. 🙂

  9. hudds53 says:

    I thank you for the card. I have enjoyed the emails I have received from you and the class. Question, though, you said you were going to send me a couple of pretty lady nurses from the class to take care of me, when can I expect them to arrive? LOL.
    Merry Christmas

  10. hudds53 says:

    Dear Vicky
    The Dalai Lama is such a great and inspirational man. Thank you for posting his message.
    Vicky, we are so grateful and lucky to have you as part of our family, you bring a blessing to us all, thank you

  11. hudds53 says:

    babychaos, thank you for the kind comments and prayers. Prayers are always appreciated and a great help.
    Vi is back at full speed, nothing really slows her down.
    Have a Wonderful Christmas.

  12. hudds53 says:

    Mary and Mrs N. thank you for the thoughts Vi is doing much better.
    Have a Great Christmas.

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