Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Breathing CPAP

I really haven’t felt well the past couple of days. I have been retaining a lot of fluid. Ankles get all swollen and gradually even breathing becomes more difficult. By difficult I just mean short of breath. I sit and pant after even the slightest exertion. It is amazing how my thinking has changed. Now taking a shower is major exertion. I passed almost 9 pounds of fluid yesterday so the next few days will be better. I still chuckle when I see the unbelieving looks on some peoples faces when I tell of how I can loose up to 12 pounds in one day. I think 12 pounds is my “record”. I suppose it is understandable that anyone would doubt this. Even my own doctor did at first. That is until I was hopitalized for 10 days and during that time I had an 8 pound day.

When the fluid builds up, I suppose it is just gravity that causes it to build up first in the feet and ankles. That law of gravity must still apply when I am lying down as it seems the fluid must spread more evenly though the body or something. At least that is what I think is happening as breathing becomes much more labored after laying down for a short while. I don’t know this to be a medical fact but I think my cpap machine helps me at night with this shortness of breath. My sleep apnea causes me to stop breathing at times while sleeping. The mask is hooked to a machine that is really nothing more than a powerful fan. The fan blows air through hoses into the mask and directly on to my face. The mask is very securely attached to my face and looks like the face masks worn by pilots for oxygen. The idea is, when a person stops breathing you give them artificial resuscitation. This machine does it continually all night long. I am not sure of the exact strength, but it feels like about a 40 mile per hour wind, constantly blowing directly on to my nose and mouth. It sounds uncomfortable but it is amazing how quickly you get used to it. That part of my face must have become used to it or desenitized or something. Now, I don’t even feel the air blowing. It has to be very securely attached to your face or any air escaping out gaps on the sides can make some really loud annoying whistling sounds. Poor Vi.

The adaptablility of the human body is an amazing thing. This shortness of breath didn’t just happen over night. It has been a slow process in developing. Bit by bit it developed without me even really noticing. Even now I will at times be sitting at the table or where ever and Vi will ask, what has got you so out of breath? Here I am panting away, seemly trying to catch my breath and thankfully, not even realizing I am doing it. The adaptability of our bodies is an amazing thing.