One Day I will be but a memory


My last post was on impermanence. I copied that post directly from Brian Alger’s Exploring-Life.ca site.
It impacted on me in so many ways, on so many levels.
It is over 10 years ago now that I first heard the you are dying words come out of my doctors mouth. I found hearing those words to be shall we say “unsettling” and I pushed hard to get some sort of time frame.
“There is no way to tell, it could be 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, a year, maybe a year and a half or even two if you are lucky.” I have been very blessed, very lucky in defying all the odds, the statistics and doctors opinions. Here I am a full 10 years later.
I am not sure when it was but it was back in those early years somewhere that a reality hit me. I may have written about it way back, not sure.
My thought was by this time next week, I may be nothing but a memory. Within that week family would have gathered, funeral held and everyone gone back home. I would be but a memory.
It is hard to describe but some how that realization was a turning point for me. It certainly wasn’t an instant ah, hah moment. I needed time to mull it over, process that thought. I can only thank our Heavenly Father for giving me that time.
Possibly that is when a level of acceptance came.
The nothing but a memory idea still sucked big time but my thoughts began to gravitate towards. OK, at some point I will in fact become but a memory. What kind of a memory would I like that to be. Now this was a process but more and more I realized I wanted memories of me to be good, positive and loving ones. I realized I had a choice not in the ultimate out come but in how I faced and dealt with this whole dying experience.
Many find this hard to accept but I am very grateful to that doctor for telling me what he did. OK, I am even more grateful to still be alive but by pointing out my own impermanence in this world. It has really opened my eyes as to how truly precious is every single moment we have.
Live today and every day. I live knowing I can’t take it for granted that I even have a tomorrow. Think about it none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, make today the best day it can be

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4 Responses to One Day I will be but a memory

  1. Noel says:

    Some people say that being a memory is how we become eternal.

    HiNoel, nice to hear from you. I agree, it is my hope memories of me will be positive

  2. Mel says:

    I’m very, very grateful. 470,057 are very, very grateful. I figure we’re all graced.

    hey Mel, so good to hear from you. Been a little worried about you. I haven’t been checking the stats site. 470,000, might make that fantasy bucket list number of 500,000. Got my fingers crossed
    Bill

  3. Brian Alger says:

    This is a wonderful article Bill.

    The pure beauty inside this statement is quite remarkable: “Many find this hard to accept but I am very grateful to that doctor for telling me what he did.” I love the wisdom that resonates inside of this.

    There is a compelling line in Aldous Huxley’s book called Island: “Attention, here and now!” This is where impermanence leads each one of us.

    Kind regards,
    Brian
    I thank you for your kind words.
    When I was younger the topic of death and dying applying to ourselves rarely if ever came up. I just remember back then my, I suppose hope was that when my time came it would be unexpected and instantaneous that I would never see it coming.
    Maybe hit by lightening or something, just bang and I am gone. No time to think or fret about it. Well for reasons beyond me, that has not come to be.
    Brian, I thank you. I can feel this reply turning into one of my endless rambles. I am going to put it up as a post in the next day or so. I do hope I will hear from you then
    Bill

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