Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Dealing with grief


My first time at the computer in a few days.. A big thank you to all that sent messages of condolences, offering up prayers. Sorry if my absence for this past while caused concern. Things have been a little busy different around here.

Firstly, Vi and family all made it back to Winnipeg safe and sound. The normal 8 hour drive took closer to 11 hours. At times driving conditions were terrible through one of our infamous Manitoba winter blizzards. Icy roads, heavy blowing snow causing zero visibility at times. All were tired but make it home in one piece.

It has been a very trying time for all. When you lose someone,  anyone that plays a large, important part in your life you obviously feel a great sense of loss. You know your life has been changed forever, it will never again be as it was before. Now just because it will never be the same again does not mean it will not be good again. With a little time as we learn to adapt to this new and changed life of ours, we come to realize that is can and will be as good again but in a slightly different way. Often in the feelings of the moment that can escape our ability to envision. Grief is a very personal, individual thing with all dealing with it in their own way.

My way will be to return here to the blog as much as I can. I have much I need to write to get out of my system. Journaling has helped me so much in the past and here I am again.

I almost feel guilty or something as I do not want Nellies passing to become an all about me thing. Yet, I need to journal my feelings and issues with it all. Holding her hand as she lay in that bed as wwe knew her heart was failing. An image would pop into my head. The image was of me laying there. Our medical conditions are not all that different

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9 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Dealing with grief

  1. It is a real blessing to be able to journal your thoughts and feelings and it helps the reader as well as the writer. Every Blessing

  2. Hilary says:

    Hi Bill .. your posts will be so interesting to read – I’m glad you’ll be posting. However for now I’m glad to read you are all home safely.

    Having just lost my mother – in July and having had her memorial in October … I feel as though I’ve completed her cycle of life and am so pleased I was afforded the opportunity to do so – I am one of the lucky ones .. though she was confined to bed for 5+ years – we had an easy and good relationship during that time .. that cemented the mother and daughter love of life. I feel at peace – thankfully …

    My thoughts are with you and Vi now … and I can feel your love for Nellie and your wife … Hilary

  3. BC says:

    If it helps, it sounds as if Nellie was having a tough time at the end with her health, and from what you’ve said on the blog, she clearly lived a long and happy life. So, while you guys around her will never be ready for her to leave you, perhaps she might have been ready to go. Now you have to deal with her absence, and that;s hard, but at least you can draw comfort from the fact that she is at peace.

    Thinking of you. God bless.

    BC

  4. Mel says:

    Good to know everyone got home, even if it required more time to get there safely.

    I like that you reminded us: “just because it will never be the same again does not mean it will not be good again.” In the heat of difficult moments, that one’s sometimes hard to pull up in our brains.

    And I’d like to encourage you to journal whatever you need to journal for you. I don’t think that’s ‘selfish’, I think that’s admirable and honest. We know you adored Nellie.
    I don’t know how you and Vi could have gone through that in total denial.
    And really…when we start worrying about ‘how it’s going to look’ then we start setting down the groundwork for being dishonest with ourselves and others. Just sayin’.

    (I oughta know. LOL I’ve had that ‘let it look how it really IS’ assignment for eons.)

    ((((((((((((((( Bill and Vi )))))))))))))))))

  5. Cat says:

    Bill, it’s been awhile since I stopped by and I’m so sorry to hear of Nellie’s passing.

    I’m with Mel; it’s not selfish to blog about or talk about how Nellie’s death affects you. Your grief and your feelings *are* about you, and you have every right to share them in any way you choose, however it feels right to you.

    Sending big hugs to you and Vi and prayers for everyone who loved and misses Nellie. May you all find peace.

  6. Glad you’re back. Sorry for your loss. I am praying for you. :)

    Blessings,
    Dana

  7. nita says:

    I send you prayers and love

  8. Mel says:

    Yup……just checking in and checking up on ya!

    Somethings just don’t change, sir. :-D

  9. Irene says:

    Hi Bill! Just thought I’d check in and find out how you and Vi and the rest of your family is doing? It’s such a difficult time for all. Take care of each other. Praying for you and your family, Wiseman.

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