Got a good nights sleep last night. Have been up for about 2 hours and am starting already to look forward to my morning nap. I am always feeling tired it seems. With zero energy it seems I have lost interest in doing almost everything. Trying to read or meditate is almost pointless as I know I will fall asleep quickly. When company comes over, I am always happy to see who ever it is, but I still often fall asleep in my chair while visiting. I am not sure if this is true, but I once read somewhere, that you body keeps track of your sleep requirements. Almost like a bank account, if you don’t have enough you have to make up for it at some time. Maybe I am now making up for sleep I miss in my younger, wilder days.
It must be close to 2 weeks since I have had a break in the nausea. I used to have what I called my bad days. I had one or even two days feeling like this and then back to normal. Never have I had 2 weeks none stop. Patience with this is starting to wear a little thin. Gravol ( motion sickness pills) help but then they make me sleepier than I already am. It does start to get you down, but then all I have to do is Pray, read other blogs and I can regain my perspective and appreciate how lucky I am and really how good I have it compared to so many.
It seems all to easy, when in the middle of my own little issue, to become mired in my own thoughts and start to develop a bit of a poor me attitude. At times it almost feels like being stuck all alone in the middle of a big field of “woe” and in every direction you look there is nothing but more of the same. If I allow the feeling can become over welming.
The first thing I must always do, is remind myself I am never “stuck” anywhere alone. Naturally, I have the love and support of my family and friends, but that is not what I am refering to. Jesus is in my heart and at my side ready to lead me out of this field. I just have to turn to him any allow him to do so. This I know, so why is it I still seem to forget it. Thankfully for me, He is so patient and waits at my side for that few hours or days until I give my head a shake and regain my focus on what is important and can see past the current moment.
A couple of days ago I received one of those emails that contain an inpritational or encouraging message. I really do like getting those or really any messages. It always seems the right message, just what I need to hear at the time will be in one of those messages.
This message spoke of an elderly genleman. He was a widower and in his 90′s. His health was beginning to fail and it had reached the point where he had to go into a nursing home. He was still a quite spry and independant man. Always up, showered, shaved and nicely dressed by 8:00am. However the appointed day arrived for him to go to the nursing home. With having no family he arrived by himself at the set time. As fate would have it, when he arrived it was an extremely busy time, with unexpected events having happened and he was force to sit alone in a waiting room for 3-4 hours. Each of the staff members as they rushed past him, though out that time, couldn’t help but notice his friendly smile, he so readily shared with all. When things had finally calmed down and the nurse was able to go to get him and get him settled in his room. She was a little worried. I mean here was an elderly gentleman that had been kept waiting for almost 4 hours. She was relieved as she appoached him to see him smiling. She apologized for the wait. To which he replied there was no need to worry, he had put the time to good use, enjoying the situation, watching all the people rush by.
She asked him to follow her so she could show him, his room. She also said she hoped he would like his room. To which he immediately replied “I love it”. Curiously, she asked how can you love a room before you have even seen it. His reply,” I have already made up my mind I will love it so I will. I know it has a bed, a chair and a TV. How that furniture is actually arranged in the room doesn’t really matter, so I know I will love it.” He carried on, “every morning when I wake up I can make a conscious choice. I can choose whether to have a good day or a bad day. I choose to have good days. The day will present me with issues or happenings beyond my control. As they are beyond my control, I can let them upset me and deprive me of a good day. Or, I can just sit back and make the best use of the time and enjoy it. I can know I will love my room or can reserve judgement, but what would that accomplish. It is to be my room, there is nothing I can do to change that, so I chose to love it.
What an example. I am choosing to have a good day every day.